AMBIVALENT {h.s} [ON HOLD]

Chapter 4.

Trina had driven me to where my car was still parked outside the bar and lectured me the entire way there. It was just as dreadful and annoying as I thought it would be.

Work was even worse, and maybe staying in the car listening to my sister rant and rave about my behavior would have been better. Working at a hotel royally sucks and I kind of resent myself for letting my life get away from me like this. If I would have went to beauty school as planned, I could be a licensed cosmetologist right now. I could be styling someone's hair instead of cleaning up dirty hotel rooms.

I push those depressing thoughts away as I clock out of work at the time clock and exit the building. I call Kelsey, one of my few friends, to she if she wants to go out for dinner or just hang out for a while but she doesn't answer. It's already dark outside when I get into my car and, out of habit, I drive to the bar, the same one I was at the night before. I change out of my ugly work uniform and into a scrimpy black dress that had been setting in the backseat of my car for weeks, not caring if anyone walking through the parking lot can see me. I slip a pair of flats on and head for the front door of the bar.

My eyes land on Harry as soon as I walk inside. Why is he here again? Why am I here again? Why do I even care whether he's here or not? I'm ready to get wasted, but first I have to find someone who will buy me the alcohol. As I glance around the room and walk farther inside, I don't find anyone that catches my attention. After a couple more minutes of searching the whole place, I decide on a group of men that look to be in their forties. It's not ideal but it will work. The table next to them has more attractive and younger guys but they all are accompanied by women.

I twist through the maze of tables and approach the decided on table. There are four men and I choose the most attractive one of the group, which isn't saying much, to start off with.

"Hey, I'm Elena." I say, batting my lashes.

The man starts to reply before his eyes widen at something behind me. I turn quickly to see what it is but find it unnecessary when I feel a set of firm hands wrap around my hips.

Harry.

"What the hell?" I say, twisting around to face him. He's dressed in all black and his emerald eyes seem to stand out against the dark color of the curls framing his face. An American flag bandana is tied around his head, keeping thick strands of hair from falling over his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing talking to those scumbags?" He asks, speaking loudly enough for them to hear.

"It's really none of your business." I say back and take a few steps away from the table. "You practically kicked me out of your house this morning."

Harry's eyes soften the slightest bit at my words, like he maybe feels bad for treating me so rudely. I stand with my arms crossed over my chest as I wait for him to respond.

"Let me make it up to you." He says, surprising me so much that I have to ask him to repeat himself.

After he says it again, I nod and walk a few more feet away from the table of middle aged men. Harry grabs my wrist, wrapping his long fingers around it and tugs me towards the back of the bar.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"I said I was going to make it up to you, didn't I?" He answers with a smirk.

I notice that we're going towards the bathrooms again and the images of his fingers pumping in and out of me from the night before fill my mind.

"Not in the bathrooms again," I groan. I've been coming to this bar for close to year and I'm actually getting tired of giving myself to men in the bathrooms. Before I let my life fall apart, I would have never done anything like that in a million years.

Harry rolls his eyes at me. "Fine. My car it is, then."

I follow Harry's tall frame through the maze of tables in the bar and out the front door. It's dark outside in the parking lot and one of the street lights is flickering. He stops at a fancy black sports car and opens the door, tipping the seat forward and climbing into the backseat. The scent of a sultry cologne mixed with weed wafts from the opened door as he motions me to climb in next to him.

I get inside and reach forward to shut the door. The light on the ceiling of the car flips off, leaving us in total darkness. I feel Harry's hand travel up my thigh and then his mouth is on my neck, moving up to nip at my ear. My body ignites as soon as he touches me, as soon as I feel his hot mouth slide across my skin.

This time it isn't an exchange of favors, him getting to touch me in exchange for buying me shots. It's his way of 'making it up to me' after kicking me out of his house so rudely this morning. This time I am sort of excited about it, remembering how he knows just the right way to move his fingers, remembering the heat that he ignited within me, remembering the intensity of the orgasm he gave me.

"What are we doing?" I half whisper. "What does this mean?"

"Just let me touch you again and I'll buy you as much alcohol as you want." He says as his lips graze the skin just below my ear. I shiver but I'm no where close to being cold.

"Okay," I agree and not just because of the promise of free alcohol. His touch is almost as intoxicating.

Harry's hand moves farther up my thigh, slipping beneath the thin material of my dress. His long fingers press against me over the lace of my panties and I squirm. His mouth presses wet kisses along my neck, making me arch it to the side to give him better access. When I move my hand near his lap in attempt to palm him through his jeans, he jerks away from me, grabbing my hand quickly and moving it away from him. I freeze next him and stare at him for a moment, trying to understand what just happened.

"I don't want to be touched, Elena." Harry says, his voice rough and full of authority.

"Oh," is the only thing I can manage to say. The air around us is now awkward and full of tension. Our bodies are still close but his hand is no longer under my dress and his mouth isn't on my neck. "I'm sorry. . . I thought. . ."

"It's okay."

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