AMBIVALENT {h.s} [ON HOLD]

Chapter 13.

"Harry, they're going to notice were not down there." I say to him as we enter his bedroom.

We had gone to the main floor and made sandwiches in the kitchen and ate them standing at the island in the middle. Harry had eaten slowly, taking tiny bites and then took even tinier drinks of water. I had torn my sandwich in half and nibbled at it, then threw the other half away when Harry was done with his.

"So, what?" He fires back, shrugging and turning the lamp on. "Are you afraid of what they will all think we're doing? What if they did know? Are you embarrassed of me? Embarrassed of the things we do together? You like it, I know you do."

"No! I'm not embarrassed. God." I say back to him, slightly annoyed. I cross the room to stand in front of him. His lips look extra pink and pouty, making me want to kiss him. I remember how they felt on mine four days ago. Why couldn't Harry be like he was that night all the time?

I make a slight move, tipping my chin upwards. I want to go in for the kiss but fear of rejection stops me just before my lips reach his. Harry states down at me, lips parted and chest visibly rising and falling. He had sobered up somewhat since I first got here but his eyes are still glassy and bloodshot.

"I think you are." He says after a long silence.

"Damn." I take a few steps back. "What do I have to do to prove that I'm not? It's not like we're together, anyways. You know, romantically?"

"No. Definitely not." Harry agrees, turning around and tugging on his hair. I feel a slight twinge of something at the finality of his words but I I push it away.

"You're always pushing people away." Trina's words repeat in my mind again, as if on cue.

This was enough talking and light arguments between us for me. Staring at his lips and imagining his body pleasuring mine is too much to handle. "Can we take your advice and stop talking?"

Harry must see it in my body language what I mean and he shucks his shirt as he closes the space between us. His large hands wrap around my wrists and his mouth is on mine in seconds. He backs us up against his closed door and grinds his body on mine. His kiss is rough, his lips hard and fast on my own. Small whimpers fall from my mouth into his as he keeps my wrists above our heads.

I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds at this very moment; the kink from before and the kissing from only a few nights ago. His tongue tastes like whiskey when it rubs against mine and I want to touch him, pull his body closer, but I can't get out of his iron grip around my wrists.

"Harry," I gasp, "please let me touch you."

"No." Harry answers firmly, stepping away from me and letting my arms fall to my sides.

I don't understand why he's like this, why he doesn't let me touch him. It irritates me but also brings me great pleasure when he has me tied up. It seems that Harry is just as closed up as I am.

"But you let me kiss you a couple of days ago and just now." I protest.

Harry looks at the floor and doesn't speak for a long minute. "I don't trust you."

"You don't trust me?" I don't understand him at all.

"Just let me give you what we both want. It's easier if we don't reason with each other."

My heart is still pounding and my body still buzzing from minutes ago and I can't deny myself this extreme amount of pleasure that I know is about to happen. My desire for his body outweighs my curiosity so I nod a silent yes.

Harry has me undressed in less then two minutes and I'm laying spread eagle on his bed in just my panties as he instructed. He still has his jeans on as he circles the bed and opens the drawer in his nightstand. I watch as he pulls out the furry handcuffs and next yanks his bandana off.

"If you're not embarrassed about what we do, let's have someone watch." Harry says as he's tying his bandana around my head for a blindfold.

I am shocked at his suggestion. "Harry. . ."

"Come on. It will be hot, trust me. It will intensify your pleasure, knowing that someone is watching."

"I don't know. . ." I say as he cuffs my wrists to his bed holsters. He's said this about all the things we've done and he's been right. I have to admit that his friends are quite hot. "I guess it won't be so bad. But only one!"

Harry leaves down the stairs and is back with one of his friends in less than five minutes. I hear their footsteps into the room and the door shut behind them. I feel exposed, not knowing who else is in here.

"Elena, Zayn is here." Harry says. I rack my mind, trying to remember which one Zayn is. I recall him as the one with the pretty tanned skin and chocolate eyes.

I don't know if I should say hi, or if that would make things even more awkward. He speaks up first.

"Hey, Elena." Zayn says as casually as if we were passing by one another on the streets.

"Hey. . ."

Harry climbs onto the bed then, and wastes no time getting on top of me. His mouth presses wet kisses onto my neck and moves down over my collarbones to the swell of my breasts. White hot pleasure bursts through me when he sucks my nipple into his mouth and I try not to make any sounds, knowing Zayn is just a couple of feet away.

In the next half minute, my panties are off and Harry's face is between my thighs. His tongue swirls around my clit and then he drags it up my center. I'm turning into a mess and I can't stop the sounds falling from my lips, even though I know Zayn can hear me. I tug at the cuffs that restrain my arms, needing to touch Harry, but knowing I can't.

"Damn," Zayn says almost too low for me to hear.

For some reason, that makes me wand Harry even more and makes my insides clench. I've never had someone watch me get oral from someone else, much less being cuffed and blindfolded while doing so. Harry's tongue starts moving at a relentless pace and I'm sent over the edge before I can stop myself. I moan loudly, pushing my hips upwards off the bed. Sealing my mouth shut and biting my lip, I try to stop the sounds but it's impossible.

A couple of minutes later, Harry takes the bandana blindfold off me and begins to undo the cuffs. I look over at Zayn who is sitting on the couch and see that his deep brown eyes are focused on me. Harry glances over at him and frowns for a split second.

"You can leave now, Zayn." Harry says.

"Bro. . ." Zayn says, standing up.

"Leave." Harry demands. As Zayn leaves the room, slamming the door behind him, Harry sets down on the edge of his bed. His back is rigid and when I crawl over to set next to him, his face is set in a scowl.

"Harry, what's wr-"

"He wants you."

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