anime oneshots [requests open]

﹝sebastian michaelis x schizophrenic!scared!reader﹞

if I could
❦❦❦❦❦❦
requested by Dramaqueen2905

!!slight reference to suicide!!

I feel like all my depictions of schizophrenia are super crude so if anyone knows more about this please tell me. I hope you enjoy it!

word count: 1258
❦❦❦❦❦❦
•your pov•
if I'm not going to be helped, someone needs to put me down. these hallucinations are getting out of control. I swear I can feel them and they can feel me. the people walking past me with depreciating looks don't help either.

or maybe they weren't there?

"they're there, I assure you." my head snapped back from the entry of the alleyway to a man with red eyes dressed in all black kneeling in front of me. this isn't right, his words don't match his lips, like what he was trying to say wasn't coming out. I didn't want to say anything back.

"if you think you've been seeing demons, you've had it easy." a nasty smile made its way on his dark face, white sharp teeth that couldn't possibly be real, but his hand touched my face as he dragged his fingers over my (s/c) skin. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping it would go away.

'they aren't real. they aren't real...'

"you'll meet him soon. we won't torture you as much with him around." he pulled his hand away from my face and it was silent. I thought he left, but I was lifted off the cold ground and into something even colder. I opened my eyes and saw more red, but that was it as I fainted.

•timeskip•

as much as I wanted to, I didn't jerk out of the arms of whoever was holding me. my eyes hardly stayed open long enough to check my drearily lit surroundings. the touch was cold, so was I, but everything felt too hot on me at the same time. despite this, I ignored what might have been a fever in favor of my surroundings as a swung a little with each step of the person holding me.

I listened to footsteps make their way down what I assumed to be a stone path and reveled in the silence aside from the shoes against the stone and the light rain. radio silence—no voices and no hallucinations. or maybe they weren't hallucinations? that man in black...it felt too close for it to be a hallucination, but might also be too out of the ordinary to be real.

"I see you are awake. " I focused my vision on the man with a tailored butler's outfit and red eyes with my own widened, (e/c) ones as he walked with me in his arms. that's when I tried to jerk out of his arms, but I didn't move an inch.

"you're...you're the person I saw yesterday. you told me I would meet someone..." I ever so slightly curled into myself. he looked exactly like whatever I saw yesterday. but he was looking at me with sympathy? it'd be the first time I've seen someone look at me like that since I'd last looked in the mirror. it almost got to my head, made me blush and warm my heart a little that a stranger—a very handsome one at that—seemed to care, but instead the look brought me some sort of common sense to try and get out of his reach.

"let go of me!" I tried pushing away from him and kicking and squirming, but I hardly moved anywhere. I had to pry his arms off my side to fall to the ground and damn was it a long fall.

I ran out of sight, around the old mansion and behind boxes that seemed to be placed conveniently for me. my breath was ragged and I couldn't shush myself without biting into the clothes I had. I couldn't stop my eyes from flitting over everything in sight, paranoia getting the better of me. I couldn't get rid of the slight heat on my waist and my thigh that were being held onto so tightly before. my cheeks were warm and my vision was blurry and unstable, but for all the wrong reasons.

"my lady, your fever will get worse if you stay in this weather." hands were back on my waist and my thigh—I could feel them through my thin clothes. they were cold, but the warmth that crept under my skin was overpowering as I was carried into the mansion

"fever..." horribly enough, I was succumbing to the feeling of the hands on me—were they rubbing circles into my skin?—and I was finding it hard to keep my eyes open and listen carefully. my breath came out in little wisps against the cold air, and maybe, maybe I made my fever worse when I thought of how nice it felt to be like this.

how nice it felt when I thought I was pulled closer to a lithe chest.

"what's...your name?" I vaguely registered the ringing in my ears over the rain and the calculated footsteps, the thoughts in the back of my head and the feeling being lost in my fingers from the cold.

"for now, it is Sebastian."  it must be the fever—that's why it feels like he's trying to comfort me with the little circles rubbed into my thigh. it must've been my dizziness and my hallucinations that made me see a smile appear on the face of this man. it had to be the subtle numbness of my body that gave me the inclination that someone was next to me in the bed I had been laid on when we were inside.

it must've been in my head when I heard someone say my name because I never introduced myself.

•timeskip•

I woke up to a hand tracing my side, up to my ribs and back down to my hip. a name was mumbled and got lost in the pillow my face was stuffed in. then my waist was harshly grabbed.

"aren't you enjoying yourself too much?" I screamed when I opened my eyes, the sight of that black clad man with sharp teeth and red eyes drawing me out of my sleep quick enough to do so.

"you like him already, don't you." I flinched away from his harshly accented words, pulling myself closer and closer to the headboard of the bed. I closed my eyes and waited out silence like I always did, until the voice was beside my ear.

"even if he is here, we won't just stop." I jumped forward, almost hitting the floor if it weren't for the arms that caught my waist and sat me back up. my eyes still closed, I couldn't see whoever it was nor did said person speak, but if I could, I would like to imagine it was Sebastian. the arms around me held fast, and the I was slowly pulled back to sleep by the soothing dance of fingers on my side.

if I could, I would like to imagine that the kiss to my forehead and the sound of my name was real as I fell asleep again. 

❦❦❦❦❦❦
I don't have proper judgement right now to assess myself -.-'. my requests are still open, but I will be on an official semi-hiatus as my volleyball club season is starting and I have to balance my work a little more between my classes

words of advice: please do not follow my lead and get more than 2 hours of sleep. good night!