You and me

Part 14 - Draco's secret

We were all up in the Great Hall, when Harry came up, covered in blood.
"What the hell happened to you ?" Ron asked, helping himself to some chicken.
"Malfoy" Harry said, his eyes lingering on me a moment too long.
"What?" I snapped at him.
He shook his head, getting some food.

                                * * *

I just wanted to kill myself. Having to see him everyday, and not being able to go near him or talk to him...it was hellish. I was trying my best to not show any emotions . Not to my friends and definitely not him.

Professor Slughorn's potions class was our first class of the year, and that too with Slytherin. I saw him as soon as I entered the class, and we didnt even acknowlege eachother's presence. I stood as far as I could from him, even though every now and then, I would steal a glance at him.
That morning, Prof. Slughorn had a couldron of a liquid, with a mother-of-pearl sheen to it, on his table.
He called us all forward, closer to his table. His moved the couldron a bit closer to us.
I flinched a little, when a familiar scent hit me. Draco's cologne...
I looked around me to see if he were standing close, but I saw that he was at the extreme corner, with Blaise and Pansy, his eyes on me.
"Who can tell me what it is ?" Slughorn asked the class.
"Its Amortentia !" Hermione said.
"Correct ! And what is it ?"
"Its the most powerful love potion in the world !"
"Very good, Miss Granger !" he praised. "Can you tell us anything more about it ?"
"Well, it smells differently to each of us, depending on what attracts us"
Thats just great, I thought.
Stupid love potion.

Later we were given a task to make a potion, which if done correctly, earns the maker, a vial of Felix Felicis, which is liquid luck.
We were all struggling with the difficult potion, eventhough Harry seemed to be gliding through. I saw a certain amount of determination on Draco's face, as he worked.
In the end, Harry was the only one with the completed potion, earning him the vial.

"I hate this" I said. " Maybe I should quit Hogwarts"
"Are you crazy !" Hermione scolded. "You are not going to think up such ideas again ! "
I grumbled under my breath, and turned, only to face Draco. He was staring at me.
I played with my lunch, not being able to eat a bite.

Days went by slowly.
Hermione and Ginny dragged me to Hogsmaede with them one Saturday. I really didnt want to. I wanted to just stay in the castle and sleep or something. Again Ginny and I missed as the trio left, unnoticed.
Once back at the castle, we heard that someone had cursed Katie Bell, and she was at the Hospital Wing. What was worse, I heard Harry saying it was Draco.

                              * * *

I tried my luck, going up to the library to our spot to see if I would ever find him there. But he never came.
I asked Pansy every now and then about him, and she told me that he was behaving rather strange these days. Weeks passed painfully for me.

I found it so hard to sleep at night, with my nightmares still getting stronger. It made me gorgy in the morning, and no tea ever helped.

One evening, after a day of super-boring classes, I was sitting at our spot, just relaxing. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I closed my eyes tight, not wanting to talk to anyone.
The footsteps stopped next to me, and then silence.
I opened my eyes and looked up, to see Draco towering over me. My heart leaped with emotion, which I did my best to conceal.
"Can I sit here ?" he asked, in a small voice.
I nodded, and he sat beside me, leaning against the bookshelf. I sat, holding my breath. And I had an urge to hit him and scream at him and cry like crazy, but I didnt.
"I can leave if you want" I said, grabbing my bag.
He caught my hand suddenly, and said, " Please dont"
I sat back, seriously struggling to keep myself stable. We sat silently.
"Im sorry" Draco whispered. It was barely a whimper.
I turned to face him. Tears ran down his face, his eyes bloodshot and tired.
"Im so sorry"
Well, that was my trigger. I was sobbing uncontrollably now, shaking badly.
"How could you leave me like that !?!" I asked. "Not a word during the holidays ! Avoiding me like Im some disease !"
"I did it for your own good, Mia !" said Draco, his face now red.
"Thats what everyone says ! Its all for my good !" I said anger raising . "I dont want any good ! You are all that I want !"
Draco looked shaken. "Mia, I..."
"Draco dont you know that I love you no matter what !" I said. "I dont care what your father did ! Or whatever it is thats bothering you !"
He looked defeated. He ran his fingers through his platinum blond hair, and exhaled loudly.
"Mia, there is something " Draco said finally. "I dont know how to tell you this"
He was crying again.
I looked at him. I love this boy so much ! He was such a mess right now. I touched his knee, and he looked up at me.
"What is it Draco ?"
Wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, he looked at me.
"Its so difficult" he sighed. "Just so difficult"
"What is?"
I moved closer to him, cautiously, and knelt down beside him.
He slowly raised the left sleeve of his shirt, revealing the most terrible thing ever. The dark mark was etched on his left forearm, and it seemed to have a life of its own. I covered my mouth with my hands, in shock.
Draco cried miserably.
"See what he did to me, Mia" he cried. "See what he did"
He looked so scared and helpless, it broke my heart. He pulled down his sleeve, crying bitterly.
I went forward and put my arms around his neck, burying my face into his soft hair. He flung his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. He pressed his face to my chest, and cried.
"I love you, Draco" I repeated, with tears."Its all going to be ok"
I moved back to look at his face. It was still the most divine sight in the world. We kissed, after a really long time. We cried and kissed all together.
Draco was so rough, that his strong grip hurt me. But I didnt say a thing. I knew he needed me, he needed me to be with him. I felt his lips, move from my lips to my jawline, and neck and my collarbone.
Soon he was on top of me, kissing fiercely. His hands gripped my waist tighter. When I knew he wanted more, I caught hold of his hands.
"Draco !" I whispered, alarmed. "Not here !"
Suddenly aware that we were in the library, he got off me, and sat up. I sat up near him.
"I..." He began, nervously.
"Shh" I said " Dont say anything"
I leaned forward and kissed him again. His hand came up to my face, stroking my cheek softly.
"Im afraid, Mia" He said. " I avoided you, because he will definitely use you if he thought we were together. "
"We have to be distant in front of others" Draco said. "I cannot put you in danger. The moment I feel that, you have to obey whatever I say. Understand ?"
I felt a pang of fear when he said that.
"You cant break the engagement !" I said. "You just cant ! I dont fear death, but I cannot live a day without you !"
"I need your word, you will obey me"
he said again. "If not, this will be our last conversation."
I nodded, hesitantly.
"Say it, Amelia"
"Yes, I promise"
He looked pained, as he kissed my forehead, and said, "Its getting late, we should go"
As I picked up my bag and books, he said, "Go on, Mia. Not together"
I walked out of the library, towards the Gryffindoor common room.