Chapter 12: Amyssies'
Umuwi nalang ako dahil bad trip ako.
Pagdating ko sa apartment, hinalungkay ko ang mga gamit ko. Matagal ko nang hindi 'yon ginalaw. And there it is, His memories.
I opened the box. Sumisikip na naman ang puso ko, drama liang masyado. Stupid.
In the box are his pictures, his cards and letters, his gifts, food wrappers and whatever stuff. These reminds me of how happy I am before, and how fool I am for believing such lies. Of how crazy I ONCE BEEN.
I picked the his latest picture that I got. And I'm not mistaken, he is the one I saw in the shop, as Jon. So he's actually a play boy huh? Am I one of his victims?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!!
I still can recall that he's my only friend since I was six. They live in am apartment beside our house. I am the ugly duckling in the eyes of other kids so I just spend my time with my father instead of playing with other kids.
Then we got a new neighbor, him, Cliff. He's the first playmate I got. He's so mataba kaya wala din siyang friends. He's months older than me. So we enrolled the same school. Classmates kami. Since Grade 1. Ang laswa mang aminin, but at our age, we got a mutual feeling of love, defind by him caring for me and protecting me from bullies. At our age, its funny to think that we're insaparable, and that he claims that I'm his girlfriend.
When we we're in grade 3, his name is all over my notebooks like:
"I love yuo Cliff Go!"
"I will married you Cliff."
Kahit mali-mali ang spelling, lumalandi pa rin.
Instead of writing my name on my notebook, I write Amyssies R. Go.
I still got those notebooks in this box. Ang landi!
Nang mag-grade 4 na kami, I'm si excited to enrol na sana. Pumunta ako sa house niya para sabay na kami. But his mama told me that They're leaving. Na-re-assigned 'yong father niya to another place of about 12 hours travel. Iyak ako ng iyak 'nun, sabi ko pa nga ayoko ng mag-aral.
The same day they told me they're leaving is exactly the day they left. Nagtatampo pa ako sa kanila 'nun.
Naka-recover naman ako 'nun pero naging loner na ako. Paano? He's my only friend.
When I was in 2nd year highschool, mama excitedly told me that Cliff's mother called and Cliff asked for my number.
I was so happy that time. He texted me that day. Text at tawag kami. He was si sweet, he sent me a card with a cute little bear stuff toy. He also asked me to send back a picture so I did. Insecure pa nga siya dahil a g panget daw niya. So I asked him a picture kaya he did. And he's so handsome. Tawag at text kami everyday, hanggang sa nag'court siya. Sinagot ko naman. Nag'work naman ang relasyon namin kahit text at tawag lang. He kept on sending me cards through mail, with pictures amd gifts. I could never ask for more kahit long distance kami.
But I told you, there's no such thing as happy ending.
Fourth year na ako 'nun, more than 2 years na kami. He sent me another mail, its a letter with a picture. It's a picture of a pretty woman naka-side view hindi masyading klaro ang details ng mukha but you can say she's really pretty.
Kinabahan ako nun, so I read his letter.
I still kept that letter, I'll read it.
Amie dear,
I don't know how my head or heart works, and I wish I can control them. I'm the happiest man when I can feel you're pressence though we're far apart. But I think it is also because of that, that I need to let you go. Though I don't feel like doing so, I can't because I know I will be very selfish if ever.
I'm in a relationship with this woman for almost a month.
I'm sorry. Forgive me, and be happy.
Forever be Sorry,
Cliff
He's into another relationship kahit kami pa.
For the second time, he broke my world. This will be the last.
I promised that to myself before.
