Charade

Lily

The wheels of the van dipped into every pothole and indentation in the road, making the floor of the vehicle tremble. I sat in the back, near the doors, duct tape binding my wrists and ankles. Every jolt made me wince. I felt as if I was trapped in a dark, windowless box with my step-dad in the front, driving, in complete silence. And soon, I couldn't take the silence any longer.

"He won't kill Benji," I told him. "He doesn't have it in him."

James chuckled from the front seat.

"People are animals, Lily. They're capable of terrible things. Even the ones you love."

"No shit," I spat.

"You people think you're above murder and mayhem." He carried on. "You think that people like me, people who are honest and self-aware, are monsters. We're all the same, kid. Everyone is a murderer, but you people have convinced yourself that some lives are more important than others."

I wanted to argue, but it seemed futile.

"Vic will kill your precious Benjamin." He said. "He'd kill anything near him if it meant saving you. And yes, it will hurt him some, but when I kill you, oh, it will be glorious. I will have truly taken everything from him. Then... then he will understand."

"What?" I interrupted, trying to keep my voice steady. "What will he understand?"

"That just because you are the one to end your life, it doesn't mean that you weren't murdered."

"This won't bring you any peace," I said. "You hear me? What do you think will happen when it's all finished? We'll be dead, sure, but you – you will live out the rest of your days alone, unloved and unwanted. Is that what you want?"

"Lily," he chuckled. "Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily. You make me laugh. Tell me, what is it that makes you think that I'll be walking away from this?"

I gulped, fear taking hold of me. I realised then that James had nothing to lose, and he would die happy, knowing he'd won. The thought made my blood boil.

The van stopped a few minutes later. I tried to peer out the front window, but I was sitting down so I couldn't see much. James fiddled with the gear shift and then stepped out of the vehicle. Fear paralysed me. This was it. This was the end.

The back doors swung open and James grabbed me, cut the duct tape around my ankles, and reapplied the duct tape covering my mouth.

"Walk," he said bluntly.

I followed him out into dark wilderness. We had stopped in a small, dirt turn off from the main road. I turned around. There were a few shaded benches where people could sit to eat, and behind them were five large water tanks sitting in of miles of saltbush. Between the turn off and the water tanks, tall wire fences stood proud.

I hunched my shoulders, feeling the chill pierce through my pyjamas. I could feel the bruising on my ankles as I walked, painful, but reminding me I was alive. James walked up to one of the shaded bench and table areas and told me to sit. I perched myself on the icy metal, concreted to the ground, and looked out to the highway. I'd never seen an emptier road. Off the distance, I spotted the silhouettes of grand mountains, leering on the horizon. The world was empty and alone, and I was here with some deranged lunatic, hell-bent on killing off what was left of my family. The thought that this might've been the last thing I ever saw terrified me beyond words.

Dad's white taxi followed the turn off and parked opposite James's van. Benji and Dad climbed out. They were both rugged up, with Benji wearing a beanie and Dad wearing two of Artie's coats that had been hung over a chair at the kitchen table. James pulled a gun out of his pocket and put the barrel to my head. I sucked in a gasp, terror reigning inside me. I felt like my heart would explode in my chest as the fear rendered my body motionless, but then Dad did something that scared me even more. I believe that there are some things that terrify children more than boogie monsters and bad dreams, and seeing a glimmer of fear in your father's eye was one of them.

"Vic, old buddy, how have you been?" James smiled, pressing the barrel into my temple.

"Where do you want to do this?" He asked, cocking a handgun.

"Ooh, we in a hurry are we? Well, that's unfortunate."

"Here?" Vic asked, taking a few steps back and making sure the gun was in check. Oh my god, I thought. He's really gonna do it.

"No, stop!" I screamed, words muffled by my gag. I wrestled my bound wrists behind my back. James grabbed me and pushed the gun against my skull.

"Behave," he said, voice low and deadly serious.

Dad stepped forward and took Benji in his arms, hugging him tightly. One of them was crying. I saw, for the first time, that Benji had become my father's son. There was love and loyalty between them.

And soon it would all be over.

Dad and Benji parted. Benji had been the one crying, but Dad's eyes were red as well. With a shaky hand, Dad held up the gun and aimed the barrel at Benji's chest. Tears sprung in my eyes. He was going to do it, he was going to kill Benji, and it was all my fault. I started sobbing madly, unable to control myself. My body trembled, violent and convulsing. He was right. Everybody was going to die, and Benji would be first.

"Lily," he said.

I looked up. Benji smiled at me, tears glistening in the moonlight.

"It's okay. This is what I want."

I shut my eyes tightly. I couldn't watch. Somewhere nearby, I heard James laughing. Then I heard two teary, shaky goodbyes. It was all over. Everybody was as good as dead. I couldn't, I couldn't...

Then the shot went off, the world was silent, and Benji's lifeless body fell to the ground.

© A.G. Travers 2015