Dear Hope [UNDER EDITTING]

Letter fourteen [EDITTING]

Dear Sadness,

Jemma and Alyssa are not happy with me. It is understandable. At least Melanie seems more understanding, though it also does feel like she doesn't really know how to take the whole situation. I can't blame her though; she probably wouldn't know what puberty was if it weren't for her being a teenager.

But, really, Sally's being so stubborn. Can't she see the signs that none of us want anything to do with her? I guess her emotional intelligence is at a big, fat zero. I do wish that she had seen the signs. That would make my life a lot easier. But of course, it can't be that easy.

Form was silent, at least, between the five of us. I don't speak for the rest of the class. Sally would occasionally spare me a hurt glance. I pretended not to see it. Why should she be hurt, and why should I be sympathetic towards her? I'm allowed to make other friends. There is no contract that binds Sally and I. On top of that, I am new, so she should've expected it.

After Form, English played out as usual. Sally went to the front of the room to her usual spot and looked towards me hopefully. I ignored her and forced a conversation with Melanie. Jemma looked unhappy when I did this, but I ignored her as well. Sally waited for a couple of seconds in her spot before abruptly standing up and walking towards us at the back. There was no empty desk next to me, only next to Alyssa. Sally hesitated, but sat down adamantly anyway.

"Why are you sitting here?" Alyssa snapped, trying to hide her frustration.

"'Cos I can," Sally replied, staring intently at the desk.

"But you don't usually," Alyssa continued, glaring at Sally from above.

"Sophie is sitting here and a friend of hers is a friend of mine," Sally retaliated, looking past everyone into my eyes. "Right Sophie?"

Heads turned to me. "Umm," I stammered, feeling my face heating up. "Sure."

I don't know what came overm e. Maybe it was Anxiety. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm 100 per cent sure that it was Anxiety. I didn't mean to lie but I think it's fine. Right?

Jemma gave me her infamous death stare. I winced but shrugged it off.

"Oh really?" Jemma said, folding her arms and lifting her glare.

"Yes really," Sally snapped. "Otherwise she wouldn't have said it."

Melanie looked at me with a worried look. She clearly didn't want her or her friends to be caught up in all of this. I didn't either.

"P-Perhaps we should all move down one?" Melanie proposed with her head tilted downward. "So Sally may sit with Sophie?"

"Oh, be my guest!" Alyssa cheered, pretending to sound friendly.

We moved down as Melanie had said and Sally rushed over to sit by me. I held back a sigh of disappointment. I looked blankly at the whiteboard, not sparing anyone a second glance, especially not Sally or Alyssa. No one initiated conversation either, thank goodness.

Along came break time, which I'm not sure whether I was relieved for or not. We left Math in silence, except Jemma and Melanie who were talking as if nothing had happened. I know they knew what was going on; I am thankful that they didn't say anything though. I wasn't in the mood to deal with that.

Alyssa on the other hand, I did not even want to know she existed. She wished I didn't exist either. Neither of us looked at the other. Though, I do wonder why she hates Sally so much.

"Hey," Sally whispered, nudging me. "Where are we sitting?"

"Just follow me," I replied, trying to keep my voice void of any emotion.

River and Calvin were already settled down, waiting for us. They exchanged glances as they saw Sally. I still don't understand what Sally could have possibly done for all of this.

"Hi," River greeted, looking at Alyssa with a subtle confused expression.

"Being so nice this week Alyssa?" Calvin mocked. "Letting everyone sit with us? I wouldn't have expected that from you."

Alyssa stared at him like she was disintegrating him with eye lasers. However, unlike the death stares Jemma gave so often, I think a rainbow imploded in place of Calvin.

"What, you don't think I'm capable?" Alyssa replied, tapping her foot and rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," I interjected uncomfortably, begging Hope that the tension would disappear after some conversation, as it previously had.

"Hey Sophie," Alyssa said, turning her laser eyes to me. I winced and nodded. "I need to go to the canteen. Will you come with me, please?"

"May I come?" Sally interrupted. "Maybe it would be good to get to know each other?"

"Did she ask you?" Jemma growled.

Sally snorted, sitting down in silence.

"Coming Sophie?" Alyssa nagged.

"Yes, I am," I replied reluctantly.

We walked for a while in the direction of the canteen. However, when we reached the end of the block, she made a left instead of continuing straight.

"Umm, this isn't the way to the tuck shop," I said, acting as if I was puzzled as to why we would diverge.

"I didn't actually need to go," she responded, staring straight ahead. "I always bring a packed lunch. I just said that in the hopes that no one would want to come."

"So then why did you want me to come?" I inquired, continuing the act.

"I need to talk to you about... Well, you know."

"What's there to discuss? Listen, I don't like her but how do we tell her to get lost? Maybe she isn't so bad after all."

"But it's your fault she's stuck with me now."

"So what should I do then?"

"I don't know and I don't care, just do something."

"Silent treatment?"

"It would be sensible."

"It'll be easier said than done."

"Then you had better start doing."

ALyssa glared at me, flicking her hair. I had started to avoid talking to Sally anyway, so maybe it wouldn't be so hard. I started to think though; was it the way to go? I mean, option one is that Sally doesn't think much of it and the tension might not ease, or two, conflict between everyone might continue to rise instead of what the goal is. I don't really know if the silent treatment will work for me either, since it will end up being super awkward. I really hope I haven't gotten myself into deep, hot water.

Thanks for listening to my rant,

Torn girl