Dear Hope [UNDER EDITTING]

Letter twenty-four [EDITTING]

Dear Relief,

Even after Jemma and I managed to get out of that toxic friendship, there was still one big thing that I hadn't addressed. I knew I owed it to Sally to make things right. Who knew how much time she had left. I wasn't gonna let her leave without knowing how much I know I screwed up. 

Jemma wanted to come too, so I rode my bike to her place and her dad took us to the hospital. It did feel a little less daunting coming here with someone else. Only by a little bit though. It's just a little bit strange that a building the size of the hospital could be so hauntingly quiet. Then I remember why.  

"I hope she's well," Jemma mumbled, looking at all the passing visitors. 

"I know, me too," I replied, attempting to mask the guilt that Anxiety helped to amplify. 

The familiar walk down the reticent hallway was only coloured by the occasional smile from the nurses. Room by almost silent room we made our way down the hallway. The walls were far from innocent, suffocating me in the sound of machines whirring and beeping. I think heard a child laughing, and it might have been the only sound of happiness in this desolate place.

Finally, we had arrived at Sally's ward. I took a deep breath. I took another, just to be sure. I stepped into the hallway, passing by the other patients. Just before Sally's section, I paused. I peeked around the curtain, and sure enough, she was there, her head tilted to one side, eyes closed. A man was sitting on a chair next to the bed in a businessman's outfit, typing on his phone. Jemma touched my shoulder and nodded at me to indicate that she would go first. 

"Hey," Jemma said nonchalantly to Sally's father. "I'm Jemma, and this is Sophie and we're... we're Sally's friends"

"A pleasure to meet you," he greeted with a smile, shaking both of our hands. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sally shift in her bed. I looked over at her as her eyelids opened. She sat up in her bed and looked over to us. 

"Hey sweetie, did you rest well?" Sally's father asked, brushing the hair from her forehead. 

"Yeah, I did," she answered before quickly looking over to Jemma and me. 

"Well, I think your friends would like to talk to you, so I'll leave you all be," her father noted before leaving the room. 

Now it was just the three of us. I took another deep breath as if breathing was going to save me from anything. I had decided what I was going to say.

"How are you feeling?" Jemma asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Sally sighed, smiling sadly. 

"Can't be too nice to be locked up in this room though," Jemma remarked.

"Too true," Sally laughed, smiling with more happiness in her voice.

"Well, it's good to hear that you are alright," I chimed in, almost in a whisper. Sally looked at me, the joy washing out of her face. Jemma looked at me with Anxiety over her shoulder. 

"You left... quite abruptly, last time," Sally said in a monotone voice. I couldn't read her emotions, so I assumed the worst. 

"I know," I replied. I paused and closed my eyes. This was it. This was the time to rip the band-aid away. "Sally. I'm sorry."

Sally looked at me. "Sorry for what?" I couldn't hear a hint of confusion in her voice.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you," I admitted. Then the rest of the words just snowballed. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all the times that I led you on, the times I ignored you when you were only trying to be kind to me. And most of all, I'm sorry that I rejected you for people I thought were my friends. I realise now that you and Jemma are my friends. I'm sorry that it took me this long. I'm sorry."

Silence.

I stared intently at the floor between my toes. I could feel Jemma's eyes on me. My eyes burnt but I refused to let myself give into the tears again.

"Why the change of heart?" Jemma asked in a tone that suggested that she didn't believe me.

"I... I..." I paused, then answered, "I-I thought about it... and I realised that... well, the only reason I didn't want to be friends with Sally... is because I thought she wasn't popular. Before I knew that, I had no problem with her. I just... I don't know, I think I was just being petty and not realising the friend right in front of my face."

Silence.

"So," Sally replied in a monotone voice, "that's it?"

I looked up into her eyes. I nodded. 

"I forgive you," she said, smiling sadly. "But I hope that this isn't just because I have this illness."

"I think that was part of my realisation," I admitted, pointing my toes together, "but I think it was the real kick in the guts that made me realise what kind of person I want to be and who I really want to be friends with."

"It's kind of a shame you realised so late," Jemma interjected, smiling sadly. "It would have been nice to have a bit more time."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Wait, wait, wait," Sally suddenly sat up and looked at Jemma. "What do you mean?"

Jemma shared a glance with me before looking blankly at Sally. "Well," she stammered, "y-your cancer... won't it, uhh, you know? um-"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Sally interrupted with a smile, "the doctors told me they caught it early enough, so hopefully with treatment, it should be alright. So I'll be doing that for a while and I should be okay."

"Really?" I gasped with delight. I suppose Jemma and I had both just assumed the cancer was terminal without really asking. 

"Yeah, isn't that great?" Sally giggled, her face lighting up with joy.

"Great? Great is the greatest understatement of all time!" Jemma exclaimed, hugging Sally. I did the same on the opposite side of the bed. 

We stayed at the hospital for a while, talking to Sally about school and what we were going to do once she got out of the hospital. Jemma decided that we would both visit her on Saturday every week. Relief, it was so nice to have you by my side. To have you comfort me after I thought everything would go wrong.

Thank you,

A very, very relieved girl