Dear Hope [UNDER EDITTING]

Letter seventeen [EDITTING]

Dear Anger, 

Yesterday, nothing much happened. It was just a normal day of exams and stuff. Today, Sally was here. She seemed okay, not very bouncy but she didn't seem sick. So, I tried the silent treatment for most of the day. Didn't seem to work, again. But Alyssa was happy even though she was here. I mean, she didn't talk to me much, but she wasn't mad. 

Jemma and Sally were the only ones that really talked to me. Now that I think about it, I figured Jemma wouldn't talk to me at all when we first met. Before second break, Jemma asked me to go to the school garden with her. 

"Why?" I inquired. 

"My mum asked me to pick up some carrots from there. You should join the gardening club with me, the vegetables we grow are quite good!" Jemma answered.

"I didn't know that you liked gardening," I remarked in surprise.

"It's quite relaxing. It's really good, especially during exam time," Jemma explained. 

I shrugged and we walked to the garden. I haven't joined any extracurricular activities yet. Maybe I should join the gardening club. I've never done gardening proper before so maybe it would be something good to try. I haven't decided yet. 

Once Jemma got her carrots, we started to walk back to the rest of the group. "Sophie," Jemma said suddenly with a serious tone. "Did you talk to Sally like I said you should?"

"No," I replied, slightly ashamed. "I don't think she would lis-"

"Okay listen," Jemma interrupted. "You know how Sally had to walk out in the middle of maths? She was talking to me before and she said that she was away yesterday because the doctors think she might be sick. Like, badly sick. I think you should be careful about how you treat her. I get it, you don't like her, but regardless of whether you're going to outright say something or give her that silent treatment, just keep that in mind. Please?"

I stood silently. What was I supposed to think? Then I said something I really regret.

"It doesn't matter how sick she is, I don't like her. I don't care."

I walked away infuriated for no reason. You had no business being there Anger. The discussion wasn't about me, it was about Sally. You made the situation worse. Did you come because you thought I needed you to make an input on the fact that I dislike Sally? Newsflash, I didn't. Wrong place, wrong time. Why would I say such a thing? I wish I could take it back... It was a horrible thing to say...

I walked back to the group in shame as I processed everything I had just done. Alyssa and Melissa didn't care at all that I had returned without Jemma. They didn't really even seem to notice. I was kind of glad they didn't ask me what was wrong, though, since I didn't feel like talking about it. I joined their discussion as if nothing had even happened. Jemma came soon after, sitting down silently. Am I a bad person?

I'm such an idiot,

Apologetic girl