Nothing's fine I'm torn

11

11. Louis pov

The walk to my bedroom had never felt longer. Had the hallway grown recently? Why was it that it seemed never ending but the walls seemed to be getting smaller.

I was shaking badly by the time I opened the door, my nerves getting the best of me. I had to go sit on my bed before I collapsed, the room was spinning how was I going to do this.

"hey Louis calm down" Harry said calmly kneeling infront of me placing his hands on my knees. Our eyes met and I took a deep breath. How long had I gone without looking into them, how could I have gone so long without looking into them.

Harry smiled and his eyes crinkled "there we go" he said softly. I was suprised to find that my breathing had evened out and I was calmer, more suprised that he still had that affect on me.

"what do you need to tell me louis?" he asked looking into my eyes. I broke eye contact and looked at his hands on my legs instead. How were we at the same eye level, he had gotten so tall since xfactor. I was now tiny in comparison.

"I need to stand up" I said doing just that. Harry got up quickly too, but just took my place on the bed.

"I'm going to say some stuff that maybe you don't want to hear but you have to promise me no matter what I say we have to agree that this band is more important. That regardless of what happens here this band will continue" I say still not having the courage to look at him.

"Of course louis, but you're scaring me. Please just tell me" Harry said quietly.

"you're going to think I'm disguting, you are going to be so repulsed by me that you'll make me leave the band" I say bitterly.

He was about to interject but I was on a roll now, saying the things that have plauged my thoughts for months.

"How would people react? I mean the fans, what would they say? I'm not good enough for you anyway" I run my hands over my face, this wasn't going as I excepted. I wiped at my tears, not realiseing when they had started to fall.

I turned towards the door and took a shuddering breath "I am in love with you Harry but I'm not enough and I will never be enough for you" I whimpered.

A heavy silence encased the room, the only sound coming from me as I tried to quiet my cries.

A pair of arms I would be able to recognize anywhere wrapped around me from behind, I turned into his chest and buried my head. I held him tightly while I sobbed.

"Louis Louis Louis" Harry whispered giving my head a kiss. "Look at me" he said. I shook my head against him and held on tighter.

"Louis look at me" he said forcefully but still gentle. I loosened my lock around him and looked up to see his tear stained face.

He wipped at me tears "Louis you're perfect, you're more than enough" he whispered.

My eyes grew in shock "wh-wh-what are you saying?" I said confused, not willing to get my hopes up. The corner of his mouth twitched up into a sad smile.

"God Louis, I've been in love with you for so long" he admitted and I was taken aback. How didn't I know this. All other thoughts left my brain as he pressed his lips to mine.

How long had I waited for this, and it was better than I had imagined. It ended all too quickly in my opinion though. Harry pulled back and looked at me searching my face for something. I couldn't help the smile that came across my face. Upon seeing mine, Harry smiled as well.

"I've missed your smile" he said softly. "I'm sorry" I apologized.

"It's in the past now" Harry said shrugging it off. What was going to happen in the future. What were we going to do? What would management do? What would our fans say?

I was cut off by his lips back on mine. He trailed small kisses to the hallow of my ear "stop thinking. Just enjoy right now" he breathed and I shivered. Yes I think I could enjoy this.

His lips trailed down to my neck where he grazed his teeth over a spot before leaving a love bite. I moaned at the feeling.

Yup I could definitely enjoy this.

*************************************

So yeah that's it. That's the last chapter, I'll have the epilogue up at some point this week, maybe Monday. Sorry for these past two chapters being so short. Just really wanted this to be done, couldn't leave it unfinished.

So story time! I have a bunch to tell you guys :S

So maybe I'll start with the fact that I'm applying to colleges and I'm scared shitless that I won't get it. Struggling with school work as usual. Life got really hard at one point, struggling with my thoughts daily.

Umm on a positive note I've met a boy. A wonderful amazing boy that makes me smile and laugh and always makes my day better. Unfortunately this boy lives an ocean away, and timezones are a bitch. We talk over skype but only for a couple hours a day, none the less those hours I look forward too everyday. His accent is completely amazing, the best British accent I have ever heard. And want to know something crazy? His name is Edward Styles. I shit you not. And I've kinda gotten him to like One Direction. So yeah he is basically perfect.

Anyway so yeah that what been happening in my life, umm the epilogue will be up soon I pinky promise!

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-Liv