Nothing's fine I'm torn

8

8.

Louis pov

I don't know what, but something had happened when I left to shower. When I walked into the living room both Niall and Liv were gone.

"Liv?" I called out wondering where she went. "In here Lou" she said quietly, immediately I knew something was off.

I walked into the kitchen seeing her at the sink holding a glass of water with shaky hands.

"what happened?" I asked trying to figure out why she was acting this way. She looked up and smiled such a completely fake smile that I had to stop from cringing.

"nothing, everything's fine" she said trying to brush it off staring intently at the glass in her hands, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't lie to me" I said harshly.

Her eyes snapped back at mine and narrowed. "don't be such a fucking hypocrite Louis" she hissed and I was taken aback, where had this come from.

"what are you talking about?" I asked wide eyed and confused.

She scoffed and set the glass down "seems like all you have done is lie to me. And the best part is that I wouldn't have known if I hadn't gotten on that plane. I have to say Lou, over the phone you are a much better liar" She said, getting quieter as she neared the end of her rant.

She knew everything. I knew we would eventually have this conversation, but I didn't imagine it would be now. I wasn't ready for her anger, I had never been at the receiving end of it before.

"Liv" I chocked on the word not being able to say more.

"you said that you told them about the breakup. you said you were eating, and I get here and find out that you a) haven't told them and b) you look like a fucking skeleton" She yells, her voice catching on the last word and that's when I notice the tears running down her face.

I say nothing as I gather her in my arms and she lets out a sob as she clings to me.

"The what if's scare the shit out of me Lou." She whispers. "What if I hadn't shown up, how skinny would you have gotten, how depressed and isolated would you have made yourself" she says into my shirt.

I hug her tighter to me. "I'm sorry" I whisper into her hair. I wish that it was enough. I had been too wrapped up in my own sadness that I had hurt her.

She pulled out of my grasp and looks me in the eye "I need you to do something for me Louis" she asks and I nod right away, anything for her.

She takes a deep breath "I need you to talk to Harry" she says and I flinch, anything but that "no".

She sighs "you both are hurting Lou, what you're doing isn't fair to either of you. He misses you and I know how much you miss him" she says.

I take a step backwards shaking my head. "no absolutely not".

"Louis you need to! you can't keep living like this!" she pleads.

"and what do you want me to say to him huh?" I yell frustrated.

"Lou" she whispers.

"What am I suppose to say Liv! You want me to march up to him and tell him everything? Hey Harry yes the reason why I've been avoiding you is that it's impossible to be around you right now without being in pain" I yell and Liv takes a step back her eyes wide.

"how do I possibly tell him that I have fallen completely in love with him!?" I sob before my knees buckle and I'm sitting on the floor resting back on a cupboard.

"Lou you need to tell him" Liv whispers as she sits beside me.

"it's not right, I'm not suppose to be in love with one of my best friends" I say my voice catching.

Saying it out loud makes it so much more real and all it made me want to do is go hide.

"I never wanted this. Falling for someone you could never have. Falling for someone who will never love you back" I say and close my eyes as the pain gets too much.

"can we not talk about this anymore?" I mutter feeling emotionally exhausted.

"sure Lou, anything you want" Liv whispers uneasily beside me.

I turn my head to look at her, cracking my eyes open a bit. I reach down and grab one of her hands. "sorry I scared you" I whisper.

She looks at me and smiles a little, the tears on her cheeks dry now, but I can see the tracts they made. The tears that I caused and that breaks my heart a little bit more.

"sorry I pushed you" she whispers back. What were we doing fighting? We were both too emotional and it was bound to happen sooner or later. At least we knew how much the other could take.

I squeezed her hand "forever and always?" I ask, making sure we were okay.

She smiled a genuine smile and squeezed my hand "forever and always".

I sighed and close my eyes again knowing what I was going to say next was going to be painful.

"you were right though" I admitted and I could feel her staring at me in confusion.

"I'm going to talk to him, I have to tell him the truth"

there was no going back now, it had to be done.

*************************************

OH SHIT

Bet you guys didn't see that coming? Or maybe you did? I tried to be very discreet that this was a larry fic :}

Sorry for the amount of swearing in this oops.

Anyway if you reread all the chapters knowing its larry then all my little hints become not so subtle ahaha.

Poor little Lou

Comment & vote please

-Liv