I finally get the feeling that my life may be heading somewhere beyond the drudgery of the caring routine that I've done for pretty much my whole life.
I can taste something that resembles a future... but that future isn't here or even now.
At the back of my mind, there's a thought that it just might be too late for me. I'm 32 now and mindful that I'm not getting any younger, the ideas that I have still require years of study - assuming that I get the grades and everything that I need first try... and I'm mindful of the fact that the life I've had to this point has taken it's toll on my body, so it's possible that I may never fit into the traditional workplace now.
I finally hunger for the life that I should have had many years ago... yet my mind is trying to come up with reasons why I can't make these dreams a reality.
I know that I'm past the best years of my life now, and that I'll just decline from here on out... but there has to be a way that I can make someone, somewhere proud to have known me - and prove those who said that I'd never make it wrong into the bargain.
I don't want to end my life like this - and nor do I want to do it at my own hands, which is what is going to happen if I sit here and rot for much longer.
