Why is She Broken?

Chapter 8: Why me?

Payton walks out of the bathroom once again like nothing happened. She goes back into her classroom. Looks at Austin and looks at her feet as she walks back to her seat. She sits in the corner and the table that no one sits so she could be alone. She is sitting there just thinking negative about herself and her life. She doesn't know what to do anymore. She thinks all of the negative things you could imagine.
You are such a freak. You have no reason to be alive. No one even notices you so why are you still breathing? Not even Alex noitices you like him. JoJo is still your friend only because she feels bad for you. Austin thinks your a huge joke. He dated you because no one else would. You should just kill yourself already. Paisley wouldn't care, mum wouldn't care, dad wouldn't care. Go home and just kill yourself.
Her head was full of bad thoughts. She wants to kill herself very badly. She just can't decide if she should. She's been abused by her parents, but she knew they loved her. Paisley and her used to be so close but now she just
thinks she is a freak. Alex and JoJo care, but do they really? Would anybody care if she was gone? She has no idea what to do anymore. Her thoughts were interrupted by the bell which ended her class. She hurried out of the room and went to lunch.
She sat down where she usually sat waiting for JoJo. JoJo was walking with Alex which they must have had their 3rd hour class together. They said bye to each other and he started walking toward Naomi's table. Payton knew what he was going to do, he was going to ask her out. JoJo came and sat by Payton and looks over at Alex.
"He is going to ask out Naomi isn't he?" Asked Payton.
"Yes he is. I still don't think he knows what happened."
Payton's heart stopped, she knew that it was her time to leave this world. She has it all planned out when she gets home. She continues eating her lunch and acts like she isn't thinking negative things or anything bad. JoJo looks over at her and she looks back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"I know something is wrong. Now tell me."
"Nothing is wrong."
"If say so."
Payton stands up, grabs her tray and walks away. She was sick of people asking her what's wrong once again.
She walks to the trash and Alex walks in front of her.
"Hey Pay." He said with a sigh.
"Hi."
"Are you okay?"
      "Yep. I'm fine." She exclaims with tears in her eyes.
"No you're not. I see the tears in your eyes Pay. Now tell me what's wrong, please."
"Nothing is wrong, alright! I don't want to talk about it!" She raises her voice.
"Okay. I'm sorry. I just want you to be okay."
"Well I'm fine." She says with her teeth clenched.
Payton walks away and runs into the bathroom. She locks herself in a stall once again. She can't cry anymore. She's already balled her eyes out. She refuses to cry once more. She has two more hours of school left. She knows once she gets home. It's all going to end. No more crying, no more pain, no more sadness.
No more life.
She goes out of the stall and looks at herself in the mirror. All she sees is ugly. She has never thought she was pretty. She has always been told she wasn't pretty, beautiful, flawless, gorgeous, perfect. Her thoughts are getting
worse as the bell goes off and she heads to her fourth hour class, Creating
music with Technology, which she has with Alex.
She walks into the class and looks at the board which is where the seating cart is. She finds herself in the front row sitting next to Alex. She knew this would happen. She sits down and just starts at her hands. Alex sits down next to her.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Are you still upset?"
"Doesn't matter."
Alex rolls his eyes and looks at the teacher, Mr. Hansen. He didn't want to force her to tell him something.
Payton felt like he didn't even care that he was upset over him. He may not have known it was because of him. She knew that she was going to take her last breathe once she gets home.
But no one will know.