It Happens

Chapter 3

That was my first kiss ever, but the way Ryan conducted it, made me think he'd had experience. He led me through it, I just stood there and let him kiss me. When he stopped, I leapt to my toes and kissed him back. Then he walked me to my bus and--

"Jayde, Jayde!" Ryan's voice called.

"Huh?" I asked jumping out of my daze, being pulled back into reality.

"Where are you going?" he asked me. I looked up realizing I'd walked a few yards in the opposite direction of my car. I shrugged, not knowing how to answer. He came over and took my hand in his own. He laughed. And smirked his adorable half smirk. Then he walked me to my car. "Your mom said I could study with you. Only if you're okay with it. Is that okay with you?" He semi-stated.

"Yeah. I'd like that." I agreed, still lulled by the memory I'd just relived. He squeezed my hand tighter and smiled.

"Great." he said. It was silent. Then he spoke again. "Jayde?" He asked. I looked at him, and he seemed hesitant, it made me ponder what he was going to say. Then I got a little nervous. "Why won't you let me kiss you?" he wondered, which surprised me.

"Because..." I started, at first I didn't know how to respond. "You have to earn it." I told him.

"How do I do that?" He asked.

"If I told you, then it would be too easy. You'll know when you've earned it." I winked. He let out an exasperated breath of air and shrugged.

"Okay, only for you, babe." he said.

"Let's go." I said. We reached my car, and Ryan opened the door for me. I stepped in. "Thanks, love." I said. He grinned. He walked around the car and sat in the back seat.

"Jayde. What do you think you're doing?" My mom asked. I was startled by her asking.

"Sitting in the passenger seat." I said.

"No you're not. Go sit in the back!" she demanded. My face grew hot.

"Okay. Fine." I agreed. My mom snickered as I got out of the car and climbed into the back seat, to sit beside Ryan. Ryan smiled at me eerily. I crossed my arms. "What?" I asked. He just smiled brighter and shrugged.

"Nothing." he said. "You're just cute when you're mad." He told me. I rolled my eyes and tucked my hands beneath my thighs. I stared out the windows and my hands slipped to my sides. I felt eyes on my face, as I watched the scene change outside. Then I felt warm fingers wrap around my palm. Instantly, surges of excitement shot up my back and my heartbeat accelerated. I knew it was Ryan's hand, he held my palm tightly, and with a firm grip. I squeezed back, and glanced over quickly. Ryan winked at me. The gymnast in my stomach did some cartwheels. I smiled back, then looked back out the window. He was the only guy who'd ever made me feel this way. His blue eyes looked at me so clearly, I always felt as though he could see right through me. And I was glad he could. I never wanted to let his hand go. Just to hold it for forever, I couldn't help hoping he might feel the same way. I looked over at him, luckily he wasn't facing me, each time he looked at me my mind went blank, I couldn't think a steady thought if I wanted to. He was looking out the window, I could see a smile curled on his lips, he was thinking about something. The window was rolled down, and Ryan's dirty blonde hair rustled in the wind. His head began to turn, and I snapped my head to look back out the window. I'd known Ryan since 6th grade, and I knew him so well, and he knew me just as well. He and I had our ups and downs. But the whole way through he was full of surprises. Good and bad ones. Most of all I loved his voice, like a deeper version of Zac Efron's, Ryan's voice was more secure and stern, comforting and gentle. I don't know why, but somehow, it wasn't enough. I asked myself, was I really doing this? Could I have come far enough to have given him a second chance in just two months? I suppose that forgive and forget would apply in this situation. But now? Why? I kept questioning myself--- but Ryan's voice brought my anxiety to a stop.

"Jayde?" he asked. His voice gave me goosebumps, I loved how he said my name. I looked up from the window and over at him. My heart was still racing from moments ago when I was letting my mind trail off and had myself in a panic.

"Yes." I replied.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his question worried me, Could he sense that I was uneasy? Did he know what I was thinking? Could our hands connect our thoughts? No that was a silly thought, of course our hands aren't connecting our thoughts, because then I'd be able to know what he was thinking too. And that would never happen, he was far too hard to read.

"Yes. Why?" I answered.

"Come on, Jayde. I know you. You are the worst at hiding your emotions." He reminded me, squeezing my hand. He leaned towards me and I noticed my mom's eyes shoot at the mirror, so she could see us. "You're hands are cold, that usually happens when you're nervous." Ryan whispered. The air that escaped from his lips warmed my ear, his breath made my knees buckle and arms loosen, I felt so weak and his warm breath sent chills up my spine. I thanked God and my lucky stars that I was sitting at that moment, because if I had been standing, I would have fallen to the floor, and that led me to imagine falling into Ryan's gentle and secure arms. "So what is it?" He asked snapping me out of my thoughts. His piercing blue eyes gazed at me fiercely. Stop being so cute, I begged him from inside.

"I'm fine. It's just cold out, I'm always cold. You know that." I told him, my teeth beggining to chatter as though on cue.

"It's only 65 degrees outside." he said.

"Only?!" I gasped.

"Yeah, it feels like 78 degrees and the sun is out, plus we just sprinted 400 meters." he said, not believing my excuse. "Jayde, tell me what's bothering you." He begged.

"I'm okay." I lied. I tried my hardest to aviod his eyes, I looked everywhere but at his face. If I looked at him, he'd know. He'd know exactly what was the matter. I don't know how he did it, but he could. Too bad he tipped my chin up, and forced my eyes to look into his.

"I know what it is." He said, dropping his hand and scooting to his side of the car. "It's me isn't it?" he asked. Ugh! Why?! Why could he read me so well? What now? Do I admit to it? Should I tell him? I couldn't find enough reasons why I shouldn't bring down the walls, put my cards on the table, and just come out with the truth. But I couldn't, and I didn't.

"Yes." Is all I said. He let my hand go.

"What did I do?" he asked with his eyes pleading for an answer. I'll be honest, I didn't know what to say. I tried so hard to avoid this moment, but here I sat face-to-face with it. My heartbeat accelerated, and I could tell my mom even felt the tension. I took a deep breath and prepared to face an interrogation from my boyfriend.

"Nothing." I blurted. He looked at me with an arched eyebrow.

"Are you sure?" He asked incredulously. I nodded. I could tell he didn't believe me, but he nodded anyway and turned to stare out the window. "Okay." was all he said in return. I just couldn't tell him. Then I couldn't help feeling bad about not telling him. I wanted to. I just felt that now wasn't the right time, I mean my mom was in the front seat. The rest of the car ride was extremely quiet. Then my mom tried to end the silence.

"So what are you two going to study?" she asked us, we just looked at each other, and said nothing. "That sounds like an interesting subject, I'm not too sure they had that class when I was your age." My mom added. Crickets. I loved her for trying, but the realization of our empty response, just made it somewhat awkward between us. When we finally arrived at my house, I was still uncomfortable and guilty. I felt a bit better when Ryan walked around the front of the car to open my car door. He extended his hand and helped me out of the vehicle. We walked to my front door quietly. Then I went to my room to get some textbooks and folders for homework. When I returned to the living room, Ryan sat patiently waiting, on the couch with his head in his hands.