Bothering Snape

sunday 22nd October

8.30

so you dont get any letters for months and then three come along at the same time, because that makes sense. yeah loads.

i hate our family owl. he bites me all the time, and all because once when i was eight i threw my bowl of cereal on him, hes held a grudge on me since, but its ok, i named him freddo, because they are yummmy, and because i could, anyway he landed infront of me pushing my cereal onto my lap, so i poured pumpkin juice on him, so he slapped me with his wing across my face, although once i threw a green smoothie on him and he was dyed green for a month, and he lives in a tree in our garden so it was impossible to see him, and he was grumpy for a week, and wouldn't come down, but then he kept leaving dead mice in my bed, at first i thought it was a loving gesture but it wasnt.....  feel the love? because i do... anyways back to my letters

8.45

i opened the first one

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Lyra

 you are to go aunt lucindas for christmas

 scarlett thompson

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i'm so feeling the love right now, but that means i get to see moron. thats my brother. i opened the second letter which was from snape, odd

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skank,

i hate you, turn me back,

severus,

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i grabbed a quill and crossed out the words and wrote him a note back and folded it into a skyepuff and levitated it over to him, it said

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severa,

no.

Lyra the beautiful.

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i feel so loved, this last letter had better be worth it.

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Lyra you turnip you,

 i miss you, Mum's new boyfriend is a skank, beer belly and all, he is called clive, but i just call him fatty, he has taken mum to berlin and i'm stuck in great aunt lucinda's house with her twelve cats and her three parrots, i shaved her cat with accidental magic, well thats what i told her anyway, i actually was aiming to skin it,but oh well.

  how's the famous hogwarts, bet you don't have any friends that are as cool as me, DON'T CHA WISH YOUR FRIENDS WERE AS COOL AS ME, DON'T CHA WISH YOUR FRIENDS WERE AS SEXY AS ME, DON'T CHA i've had that song in my head for ages, and i hope you do too, have you played any pranks?

  Mum said you've had four detentions and been in the hospital wing the whole time almost, don't make me seem like a saddo when i get there next year, leave me something to live up to, oh and james, is he still as annoying as ever? i bet he is, oh and i heard that the ,chudley canons won their match, are you trying out for quiddich next year?

  did i tell you about the ghoul i saw? or it may have been an old man, but it was weird, and the perve up the road keeps asking me for tea, and to look at his trainset, i have insisted in telling him that i hate trains and that if he keeps on asking me for tea i may have to call the police, well i didn't tell him the last bit, but i now have memorized the number for the police, proud? you should be

  anyways i'd like a letter back soonish, because otherwise i'll have to explain to great aunt lucinda why buttons the bugger of a cat is hanging from the ceiling,

and tell me what house you're in, if you're in slytherin don't reply, or talk to me again, ok thanks, byeeee

lots of flutterbys and bainrows

Hectorsaurus

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so i grabbed a quill from my bag and a bit of parchment that i still used even though it had a smear of chocolate on and proceded to write back to him

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Hectormoron

 I dont know why, but i miss you too, yes i am a turnip, deal with it, turnip's are nice, although i don't like to eat them, i suck on them, there is a difference. mum's boyfriends are always skanks, and Clive huh? i was thinking borris, i guessed about the beer belly, he sounds so attractive, almost more attractive than you, HA, and ah, great aunt lucinda, how i miss her lovely house, (i am being sarcastic) I'm rather impressed with your 'Accidental magic' skam, keep up the good work.

  Hogwarts is great, and even better because you're not here, i have this bet going, who ever gives into the bet has to snog filch, and it all started because i wanted to eat the train, and i was given sugar. my friends are awesome, there is pickle who is an ocolot who belongs to Tiffany who caused me to have a mental breakdown, but i'm ok now, just keep spoons, mustard or... potatos (shudders) out of my sight, and damn you, i now have that song stuck in my head, i hope you're happy..... don't make me get the cheese board song stuck in your head. i have a stalker because of that, he's obsessed with cheese, he's called peter, then there is sirius, and i know your like seriously? and im like i'm being serious and he's like hehe you're being me, so yeah then there is marie who is inlove with remus whos a bookworm and then there is runover by a tractor boy, who stares at lily whos friends with sevvy, whos a yeti who i prank all the time,

  i made a potion so he became a girl, only i made it too strong and he's been stuck as a girl for almost three days, ha. only one more day and he'll be normal, well as normal as he can be,

yes four detentions, one of our teachers is an animagus, she turns into a cat, and well i kept on cat punning her, and she gave me lines which were something to do with me persistant imaturaty, so for each line i wrote purrsistant, and claimed thats how i thought it was spelt. Madam poopie the nurse, says i'm not allowed my own room in the hospital wing because i'd give her a mental breakdown, i took that as a compliment. thats great about the chudley canons, and yeah i want to be the seeker, and be all awesome, so people will be like woah lyra the awesome, i may make teachers call me that from now on. yes i think i will.

  Tell the perve he sounds like a nargel, and also i'm very proud that my baby brother can memorise a three letter number sequence, i don't know it myself so well done

i thought about not writing back and hearing about buttons, but i thought i did miss hearing from the now third most awesome being in the world, first being me then puffy my skyepuff (attatched a photo of me with him) isn't he cute! i've called him puffy

and i'm a RAVENCLAW, pha, i think it made a mistake, but anywhooo reply dear little moron brother for otherwise the flipperpuffs will forever more hate you.

Lots of pizza and gobstones

Lyra the awesome... <-- it had better catch on or i'll be sad.

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awhh my baby brother, hogwarts is doomed when we are both here, they think i'm bad, they will get double the trouble.