Bothering Snape

Saturday 2nd September

9.30-

woke up to some girl snoring, so i tried to suffocate her, with my sock. i think it worked... i think she's dead...nope shes snoring again.

9.33

currently being lectured by some girl saying

'you shouldn't jump on people when they are trying to sleep!'

well she then pushed me on the floor and that hurt so i told her not to snore, and she went really red. serves her right, i asked her name, shes called Susan... snorer Susan

9.34

going to go have some breakfast

9.35

back in my dorm room, i almost showed everyone my snitch covered pyjama's! woops!

9.40

ok so now i'm dressed and ready for breakfast. so I'm walking down the stairs humming and some stupid boy decides it would be funny to stand on the bottom of the stairs, and then it became a slide, stupid boy, i would eat him but then i might die, of some unknown disease.

10.03

sitting at the gryffindor table, because i'm a rebel and also i want to talk with my cousin. but for most of my meal i was giving evils to the socially enept and very vicious yeti...

10.04

he swore at me! how dare he! i just stuck my tongue out at him, because i'm very mature

11.43

James invited me to hang out by a tree in the grounds, and i'm running late, 13 minutes late in fact... ohhh unluckyness!

11.45

met James under the tree and tried to rolly polley over to him but got stuck upside down. i though i was going to die.

11.46

James is still laughing

11.47

James is very wet after i pushed him into the lake

1.00

lunch time, and i have been looking up hexes to use on s.e.v.v.y, so while he was eating i pointed my wand at him and muttered a few words and the next minute Snape is on the table singing,

'SUNSHINE, LOLLYPOPS AND RAINDOWS'

he looked really red and everyone was laughing at him, even the slytherins

1.07

now he's giving me evils.

1.10

i ran up to the ravenclaw common room in two minutes, and now i think i'm dying, i cant breathe

4.16

talking to a girl in my dorm she's called Selene and shes really mystical, she is always experimenting on everything! she may come in useful for a prank on s.e.v.v.y in future.

6.20

going for dinner now and i am slightly worried, but i mean how bad can s.e.v.v.y get me back huh? i mean its not like he knows much magic, he's a first year!

6.24

sev is a better wizard than i thought, i ended up going up to the front of the hall and yelling

'i'm such a skank'

6.25

i got s.e.v.v.y up here and made him say

'i'm a socially enept and very vicious yeti'

6.26

he made me say

'i cry myself to sleep because i smell like a potato'

6.27

so i made him say

'i hang out with snakes because it makes me feel better about having such a small package...' that made a lot of people laugh

6.28

he then made me say

'i couldn't even get the giant squid to go out with me' so i yelled

'actually s.e.v.v.y i think you'll find that me and Mr muffin are desperately in love and some day we WILL be married and have lots of amazing squiddy babies'

so then i made him say

'i'm so ugly not even a dementor would kiss me'

i think even dumbledore was enjoying this little performance, me and s.e.v.v.y were giving each other evils. then he smiled, and said 'shall we let the war begin? who ever gives in first has to kiss filch?'

so obviously i agreed, we shock on it, well i used my cardigan sleeve, you think i want yeti germs on me?

10.04

i'm going to bed now, after a busy day yelling inapropriate things infront of the school, it does tire you out. but one things for sure I AM NOT KISSING FILCH!!