night changes

thirty-six

"I know things have been crazy lately and I don't mean to be dodgy." Sitting on the park bench of Central Park Len hid her honey brown eyes in her lap.

There was so much we had to talk about and I needed to fix things between us. Eleanor and I without saying it out loud, took a break after the whole cheerleader thing. It had driven a wedge between us and I knew I had some explaining to do.

The air was crisp and painted the entire fall scene with the yellow and orange leaves gathering on the lawn and cement. The trees shedding their leaves in preparation for winter that was creeping its way into New York City.

She was wrapped in a tan trench coat to keep her warm from the dropping temperatures. Her hair pinned up in a high ponytail, making it easier for me to see her facial expression. A breeze brushes up on us causing her cheeks and the tip of her nose to turn a rosy tinted color.

"I just don't want to get hurt. I'm so afraid I'll put myself out there and in return get nothing back." Eleanor spoke keeping her eyes caster into her lap. She was avoid eye contact since her voice was a little unsteady.

"I would never hurt you Len, what you saw on the sidelines wasn't what you think." I began looking at her little hands that were covered over in fingerless grey gloves. Her head still hung low along with her gaze that remained the same.

"She came onto me. I pushed her off of me, I don't care about her. I don't care about anyone but you and saying this out loud to you is... I've never told anyone else that before." Admitting my feelings out loud she lifted her gaze until her brown honey eyes met mine.

"I really want this to work, for us to work because I've had feelings for you ever since we were freshman in high school. You were always that person I could talk to and lean on, I just want to know we are in this together." Eleanor explained as she glanced into my eyes, her dark lashes enhancing her eye color.

I hadn't ever known Len had feeling for me so long ago. Looking back on it now I could have made an assumption, but at the time I thought of her nothing more then my best friend. We were friends from diapers and she meant the world to me, little did I know she caught feeling for me that were stronger then just a friendship.

Now knowing this, I can't imagine how she must have felt back in our high school days. I would come to her with girl problems I was having and she would have to listen to me rant about the girl I was with at the time. She was having to watch me be with every other girl but her.

"I'm willing to give you my everything. I care about you more then anyone else Len." I came in closer, tilting her chin up until our lips met. Slowly I kissed her, remembering the taste of her kiss on my lips. The memory of us kissing the last time resurfaced in my mind once I closed my eyes and let our lips take control. They were soft like flower petals the way she pressed hers up against mine.

"So what have I missed?" Eleanor asked as we began walking back to my apartment. Hand in hand I clasped my fingers between her own.

"My life has felt more like a circus lately." I sighed looking straight ahead to a little girl and her father riding their bikes headed towards us. The little girl giggling while her dad goofed about on the bikes.

"What's going on?" Eleanor pressed as I sat in thought about how I was going to break this to her. Should I come straight out with Kiera or slowly ease into the bombshell?

"Just with these lacrosse scouts and Asher being ill, and then there's Keira..."

"Keira?" Eleanor picked up on as soon as the name was spoken.

"Yeah...ummm..." Taking me a minute to build up my courage I reeled in my mind. Thinking of all the ways I could explain the last few days.

Currently Keira was at my apartment watching and spending time with Asher while I had some alone time with Eleanor. Keira had asked if she could have some one on one time with Asher and I thought it was the perfect opportunity for me to explain things to Len. Our relationship was put on the back burner ever since she saw me kissing the cheerleader and I hadn't gotten the chance to fix things.

"It was unexpected but she's back." I told Len as she stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. Standing across from her I watched her features become puzzled.

"She came back? What did she say? Why?"

"She was worried about the baby because of some issues circulating with his custody." I scratched the back of my neck keeping my eyes downcast.

"She's not taking him away from you is she?" Eleanor got defensive real quick. This was a trait I loved about her, she was a protector and defended the people she loved through thick and thin.

"No... but her parents might." The thought if my life without my baby boy sliced me to the core. I wasn't going to let anything happen to him.

"They don't have the right! Asher is not their child!" Eleanor's voice rose from her anger that was flickering in her eyes.

"I know but they have some dirt on Keira... it could take her away again." Keira would survive a day in jail. She was afraid of the world and people, she ran and hid away. She spent so much time running that she didn't know how to do anything else.

"Harry your name is on the birth certificate too. They can't just take him from your custody." Eleanor shook her head as I saw her rosy cheeks look like a natural blush. The air seemed to get colder the longer we stood here, the leaves falling all around us.

"Eleanor, you know how I was. They could easily deem me as unfit to raise him. We are going to do what we can to talk to them peacefully." I told her grabbing her hand to feel it in mine. I was under a microscope right now with all the stress I was dealing with. I was beyond terrified to be talking to Keira's parents for the first time, I could feel the vomit brewing in my stomach.

"Show them who you have become. You have grown so much in these last few months, Harry. You have tried and worked so hard to be that person who is trustworthy and dependable, you have changed for the better and if they can't see that then it's their loss because they are missing out on someone incredible." Eleanor spoke with a soft tone as she went in to embrace me. Her arms wrapping around my neck while I grabbed her sides by tightening my arms around her.

After holding each other in a tight embrace we found ourselves parting ways. Keira had texted me telling me Asher was becoming more and more fussy the longer time progressed. Not only was Asher still dealing with getting over his illness but he was also a daddy's boy, which meant he didn't do well when I was gone for an extended period of time.

Walking home on the streets of New York City I watched as more and more distance was put between Eleanor and I. I wished she would come home with me but she lightly declined telling me that I needed to figure things out with Keira. Keira and I had a few things to talk about concerning Asher and this entire situation and Len wanted me to deal with that.

The cold air brushed against my cheeks and kissed my nose as I walked past crowds of people. The city was always busy and very rarely did you ever find yourself walking alone. Yet sometimes despite the fact you being surrounded by thousands of people, you still feel alone.

Note// hey lovely people! I know it's been a hot minute but I have been dealing with a lot of personal struggles recently. Writing helps me to cope and so hopefully I can get back into that and bring you new content:)

Any thoughts? Predictions?