night changes

thirty-nine

"You know Kiera, there are some things we need to talk about." I urged as Kiera fed Asher who was sucking down his milk quickly. I had to often remind him to slow down.

"Harry, I want to move back to LA." Keira told me, blurting out as her eyes moved up from Asher to meet my own.

"What?" My heart beat picked up in my chest and I didn't like where this was going.

"I think I need time to get over things and it's difficult for me to do that here." Kiera informed still keeping Asher's bottle up against his mouth.

"So then what does that mean for us, and Asher." I looked down at him to see him kicking his little legs with his left sock hanging off his foot.

"I mean... I don't expect you to up and move to LA with me. I know your entire life is here and it would be unfair of me to tell you what you have to do, but I think at a time like this I need to be away from the place everything happened." Keira expressed running a hand through Asher's soft brown baby hairs with her free once she pulled the bottle away from Asher. Drinking it whole Asher became a little whiney once the bottle was finished.

"Keira... you can't just leave with him." I told her sadly while watching as she stood the baby in a long sleeve white shirt and grey sweat pants. Propping him up on her lap he began to bend his knees up and down, distracting himself from being whiney like he was before.

"You were an amazing father Harry. You were more then I ever expected from you, but I'm setting you free now. I'm giving you and out." Keira told me just as Asher began to get fussy once again. Frantically moving his arms Keira tried to calm him down.

"I don't want an out, he's my son. I can't imagine my life without him." I set Keira straight as she struggled to calm down the fussy baby.

"He can't be in two places at once." Keira stated the obvious, "Here can you take him?" She handed Asher off into my arms where I took him and sat him on my knee where I bounced him.

"I know that but we have to meet in the middle somehow. I can't move out to California, my entire life is here and I can't just up and leave." I expressed getting Asher content once again as he made gurgles on my knee that I bounced him on.

"Maybe I just need to take some time for myself. Get myself together for now. I have some things I need to work through." Keira sat in silence looking at Asher before she spoke. This was a tough situation and from our different destinations things had become even more complicated.

I understood why Keira didn't want to reside in New York. It was the breeding ground for all her bad blood she had with her parents. The streets and places within the city held memories she would rather forget.

"What are you saying?" I asked her as she kept her blue ocean eyes on me. I could tell the words caught in her throat. Giving her the necessary time to collect what she was about to say I saw her open her mouth,

"I'm saying maybe I gather myself a little more before we make any decisions between us and the baby. Emotionally maybe I'm not ready to take on a baby by myself. I want to give him my best and I'm not at my best right now. He's a daddy's boy and needs his dad, maybe I can come into town to see him. Skype every night from LA..." What Keira was suggesting was her leaving Asher in my care while she took care of herself yet still keeping in close contact.

"So you're set on getting back to LA, yeah?"

"Yeah, I think I just need some time to recover from everything. There's a lot I haven't dealt with and I think it's time for me to do that." She told me standing up and pushing her hair back only for her bangs to fall back forward once her hands fell to her sides.

"You can call anytime and come visit whenever you would like. I think it's important you are still in Asher's life." I told her standing up and readjusting Asher on my hip where he gurgled and chewed on one of his fists.

"There's nothing I would want more." She walked over touching Asher's nose and kissing the top of his head.

"So when are you headed back out?" I asked Keira about her plans of departing. I didn't know how soon she was planning on taking off.

"Tomorrow morning actually."

"Oh I didn't you were off so soon..." Asher began tugging on my cross necklace, causing the chain to dig into my skin uncomfortably. "Aye, aye, it's cutting into my neck buddy." I told Asher wrapping his hand from the necklace that he was continuing to pull on.

"Yeah I think it's best that way." Keira nodded attracting her head while looking at Asher who was fighting me on holding the necklace around my neck. "I never knew everything would turn out this way."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you and Asher. I hoped that by me leaving him with you things would work out but deep down I wondered if you would give him away or deny the whole thing but, its you who is his favorite." She observed as Asher still made playful gurgles trying to earn my attention by pulling at my shirt and slapping my chest.

"He's my little buddy, aren't you?" I asked Asher tickling his belly to hear him began to giggle from my fingers tickling his belly.

I decided to skip the part about me giving him up, I figured Keira had enough to deal with and that was no longer important. All that mattered now was that I was with him now and that I had formed an unconditional love for him.

"I think he's pooping..." Keira laughed at Asher's face that was concentrated and turning a pink color.

"I think you should change him for good times sake." I told Keira handing him off as he passed gas kicking while I held him out to her.

"You know what, I'm good. I think you've got this handled." Keira giggled pushing the pooping baby back into my chest.

"Come on now, you aren't going to be around to have intimate moments like this." I enticed bringing my arms back out to her where Asher was still working on pushing out whatever he had inside.

"Intimate isn't the word I would use." Keira rolled her eyes taking Asher from my hands and turning her head with a sigh as she made her way back into my bedroom. "Alright baby! Let me take care of ya, since daddy thinks we need more intimate moments together even though we all know he just doesn't want to clean up your poopy mess." Keira walked into my room with the baby that giggled in her arms.

+

Early the next morning I was sat in the car with Madison sitting shot gun and Keira in the back coddling Asher who was still asleep in his car seat. I had offered to drive Keira to JFK for her flight back to LA.

Making our way up the drop off I popped the trunk to retrieve Keira's luggage. Bring it to the curb I watched through the window of the car, Keira stroking Asher's soft brown hair as he slept soundly. Blinking rapidly she brought her hand up to her mouth were her head hung into her lap for a few moments. She was having to say goodbye to her child once again and I couldn't imagine the heartbreak she was feeling. With a few more minutes and a kiss to the forehead Keira then opened her door and walked toward me with tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry.." I told her opening up my arms to her where she grapes onto me.

"I miss him so much already." She whispered sniffling onto my shoulder.

Rubbing her back I comforted her, "It's not a goodbye love, we can talk and you can see him everyday if you want and when your ready to come back we will be waiting for you."

"Thank you Harry for everything." Keira whispered into my ear with a sniffle before pulling away and giving me a weak smile. "I better get going, I'll talk to you soon."

"Good luck." I waved to Keira as she walked into the airport with her little black suite case trailing behind her. This time in a manner that wasn't full of fear, this time she was walking away with a weight lifted from her shoulder and I mind set to get better and deal with her dark past.

note// I thought I would put up an update since I accidentally published the ending of this book which is coming very soon! I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you all tomorrow for another update!