The Walls that Keep me from you

Chapter four

Do you ever get that pain in your stomach and gut?  You know butterflies?  Where you think you're sick but, really you're just scared and nervous.  You just want it to go away but it doesn't until you're at ease, not worrying about what could happen next.  I have that feeling right now, I don'twant them to find out...

The week was already over and I got my new school uniform so I don't stick out so much at school anymore.  Life was going great, besides the fact that I've been abused every night.  I was even going to hangout out with the boys today to film Dare Sundays.  I message Jai.

Hey, be there to pick you up in 5 (:

Thanks (:

I rush out of the house so the monster doesn't catch me sneaking out and get into my car and speed down the road until my house is out of sight.

I hope they don't see any burns, I hope they ask no questions.

I pull into their driveway and get out and walk to the front door.  I knock twice and play with my bracelet as I wait.  The door open and it's a woman with a black beanie on and sweats, she wears a great smile.

"Hi I am Gina, Beau, Luke and Jai's mum."

I return her generous smile and shake her hand.

"I'm Hope, Hope Edwards."

I step into the house and chat with Gina while I wait for the boys.

"So how do you like it here?" Gina asks with another one of her smiles.

"I like it alot, it's a breath taking country and the people are very nice at school, especially the boys I am happy they're my friends." I smile as the boys come out of their rooms.

"Well it was nice meeting you Hope, be careful boys!"

"Bye Gina, I'll make sure their safe." I say waving goodbye.

I trail behind the boys

"Hope, there isn't enough seats!" Jai whines.

"One second." I say moving my way in front of them and crawling into the drivers seat changing the arm rest into a seat.

"Okay, pick your seats." I say backing my way out on the car.

They scramble into their seats and I take my seat.  Jai, Luke and James are in the back and Daniel has shotgun and Beau is squished in the front.

 Again I go through my normal routine...

Review mirror, check.

Seat belts, check.

Lights, check.

Controls, check.

"Can we go alrea-" Beau says but stops mid sentence.   He's just staring at me confused with sadness in his eyes.

I can't be sure what he saw, but I act like its nothing.  I clear my throat.

"Everyone buckled?"  I say looking Beau in the eyes. Everyone response yes expect for Beau he just looks away disappointed...?

I ignore it and start driving where they tell me to and we end up at a random building.

"Okay lets get this over with." James says getting out of the car.  Once I get out Luke instantly hands me a camera.

"You know how to record right?  Of course you do.  Just record all the funny shit."

I nod and let them get their stuff together.  Luke gives me a thumbs up and I start recording.

"Hey guys we're the Janoskians! And today we're doing the pepper spray challenge..."

Daniel gets a boogy and I can't stop giggling,  I put my hand over my mouth knowing it isn't the Hope show.  They begin their challenge, Daniel goes first so he doesn't chicken out.  He begins punching the wall to 'man up' you could say.  Jai sprays his face and Daniel instantly starts pouring water on his face.  I cant help but feel bad for him,  I can't imagine how much it would burn.  Later Luke and James make a packed to go together and hold hands.

"Oh my god!" I whisper to myself when James gets the spray directly in his eyes.  I can't help but laugh when they join hands again and Luke starts singing and then screams. When James is finally able to open his eyes Jai and Beau begin.  Jai stays quiet for the beginning while Beau goes instantly to the ground coughing and gasping for air.  When Beau begins yelling 'I'm  going to fucking die!' I get worried.  When Jai is over it with barely any emotion what so ever, everyone else is beginning to worry right along with me. 

Jai tells me to take Beau somewhere else to calm down and get better while they finish up the video.  I hand him the camera and take Beau's hand and lead him on the other side of the building.  I place my arm around his shoulders and hold two extra water bottles in my other hand.  Beau keeps on coughing and gasping for air while pouring water in his eyes.  I sit him down and sit along beside him.

"Do you need more water?"  I ask softly trying to give him space.

He nods and I pass him the freashly open water bottle.  I sit there quietly rubbing  my hand on his back. 

"Feeling alright now?" I ask still rubbing his back.

"Yeah...but are you?" He asks looking into my eyes. "Hope... I saw your cuts on your thighs, you can't just tell me they were your cat when you and I both know you're lying."  He states in a firm voice, almost yelling.  I brush my inner thighs where the pain lays with my fingers.

I put my head down. "Beau...please don't yell..."

"Come on Hope, you can talk to me, I won't hurt you." He quietly says reaching for my hand I give him the cold shoulder and move away. 

"It hurts too much." I say with tears streaming down my face.

"How you feeling Beau?" The boys come from around the corner.  I quickly wipe my tears away.

"Fi-"

"We're good.  Can we just go home?" I spit out frustrated with Beau, evening though he was reaching out to me.

"Um sure?" Jai says very confused by my mood.  I get up and stomp to my car and pull up to them.  I don't even go through my check list, I just start driving.  Everyone is silent not even talking to one another.  Once we get to their place I say my goodbyes and drive home and I am able to sneak back inside my room safely... or so I think...