The Walls that Keep me from you

Chapter six

Beau drags me down so I am laying on top of him.  As our kissing gets more intense I can feel his hands exploring my back.  As we separate to take a breath my picture of my dad and I catches my eye.  Blood covers me and partially covering my dad.  Even though its a picture, I can feel his eyes on me.  My dad was never a judger but it felt like he was disappointed in me for thinking sex would take away all this pain.  I pull away from Beau so I am sitting on his hips.  I cover face with my hands.

"I am sorry Beau, I can't."

He stays silent.

"This won't take away the scars or the pain, the damage is done and sex isn't just going to fix it like magic."

Beau removes my hands from my face.

"You don't have to say you're sorry Hope, I should be the one apologizing.  I'll only do what you truly want." He smiles and kisses my hands.

"Do you think we could just go to bed...together?" I blush at myself feeling so awkward. 

"Sounds wonderful, anything for you." 

"Thanks Beau." I smile and kiss his cheek.  I get up and change into the sweats he gave me.  Beau holds the blankets up for me to get under.  I slide under the sheets and grab my picture.  I have my back to Beau and lay there silently looking at my picture.

"What are you looking at?" Beau asks peering above me.

"A picture of me and dad, it was taken a few weeks before the accident."  I study the picture before I hand it to Beau.  We were at a restaurant celebrating my thirteenth birthday.  I was hugging him from the side and kissing his cheek while he was show casing his pearly whites to the camera while hugging me.  I hand Beau the picture.  I can hear him chuckle a bit.

"I know where you get your beautiful grey eyes from, same with your smile."

He takes a long pause.

"I am happy that one of us loves their dad."

"What do you mean?" I say rolling over so I am facing him.

"My dad didn't stick around for long after Luke and Jai were born.  Our mum raised us by herself and she didn't have a lot for us to be raised on.  She's very important to us boys."

"Too bad, he's is missing out on three wonderful sons and a spectacular wife.  Gina seems like a great mother, I'd much rather want to have her as a mother than the monster back home."

"She's is the best, maybe you could live here for awhile, our mum already seems to adore you." He smiles, but then yawns.  I giggle.

"Thank you, but we can talk later.  My knight in shinning armor needs his sleep." I say smiling.  I roll over so once again my back is facing him.  I kiss my dad goodnight.

"Love you dad." I say putting down the picture.

"Hey, what about me?" Beau laughs.

"Love you too Beau."  I say giggling.

"That's what I thought."  He reaches over me and turns off the lamp and kisses my head.

"Sweet dreams Hope."

"You too, goodnight." I say snuggling up next to Beau.  To my surprise he warps his arms around me.

"You're safe now."  He whispers in my ear.  I smile to his words and slowly drift off to sleep.

My groggy eyes slowly open to the sight of the sun slowly rising.  I don't feel Beau's arms around me anymore, I roll over to see that he is still in bed though.  I stare at him, admiring him.