His Block

|0.14|

"So it's your birthday, how's that going for you?"Mr Johnson smiled as he sat on the corner of his wodden framed desk.

I shrugged with a small smile. Not much emotion could be expressed about my birthday. I never took the fact my birthday is supposed to be such a big thing into consideration so it's pretty much a normal day aside from the few birthday wishes I received. "It's going."I state blandly. "It's not much of a celebration, I still feel like I'm missing that key aspect to conjoin all of the pieces together."I tied my lips to the right averting my eyes to the semi full whiteboard.

He sighed pulling a chair towards him so he could have a seat. "C'mon, spill it Jhenea." He laced his fingers together leaning foward resting his arms on his knees.

"I mean, what can I say? Theres not much to be celebrated when you just feel like no one is celebrating with you."

"What do you mean? I thought you said your aunt and uncle was taking you out to dinner today to celebrate your birthday."

"Thats different, it will always be different."I say. "It's not much of a celebration if you don't feel it. You feel festive and ready to celebrate when you are around people that you want to be around, I honestly don't want to be around neither of them today"I'm very appreciative of my aunt and uncle being nice enough to take me out to dinner but I'm really not up for it. Everytime the two of them does something sentimental and kind for me I end up facing the fact that they are not my parents, and the will never be my parents. I except the fact that I am not biologically entitled to them as their child, but it doesn't change the fact that I wish my parents were around to see me blossom and grow as they did.

My parents has missed out on majority of my life. Although, I'm happy that aunt April and uncle Calvin are here for life moments like my birthday, I still think about how it would have been different if my parents had stuck it out and never left me at the hands of someone else.

"I know exactly where you are headed. You want your parents here."Mr Johnson came to the conclusion.

I chuckle with a small shrug. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah."He smiles lightening the mood a bit. "Jhenea as you know I'm very familiar with your situation, I'm a foster child as well."He explains to me. I nod my head awaiting for him to spill a mind teasing lesson upon me any moment now. "For me, it was pretty evident to know that a blonde haired blue eyed lady wasn't my mother, but even when I knew we had no blood relation, I had to face the fact that she was what I had to deal with, she was the one that carried all the mother qualities that I needed to become the man I am today. I went through the tough stuff, realizing that my mother was off somewhere getting higher than ever while this white lady taught how to be respectful, helped me with homework, sung happy birthday to me and even told me she loved me. I always carried that small void in my heart, I always knew it felt a little weird to hear a woman besides my biological mother tell me she loved me, but you know what I realized. I realized that things won't stop feeling abnormal if I didn't begin excepting things as they are."

He took a brief pause with his wording. "What I'm trying to say is that you need to begin to except the fact that thoes two people are all you have. Not trying to sound harsh or anything like that, but to me you don't actually appreciate them as much you preach you do. You have implanted in your mind that you are obligated to say you appreciate them so you can shelter the fact that you wish that they were your parents and not your aunt and uncle." The thought of him being wrong clouded my mind. My in denial and stubborn ways refused me to realize that he was indeed correct. But I had to face it, he was correct. There has always been this desperate yearn for the two to be my parents I just always found a way to burry and hide that feeling.