His Block

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Bundled up into bed, the covers were sprawled out all over. The cold air from the vents was beating down on me allowing me to indulge into a comfortable slumber. I tossed over to my left side, a pillow laying under me. It had been a long day of helping aunt April clean and redecorate practically the whole apartment and basically all I wanted to do was just sleep for hours. My hair was tucked into a satin bonnet, underneath, all my tresses were flat twisted for the sake of a twist out I would be sporting for the afternoon dinner that April invited Milan and aunt Candace to.

I was finally into a deep slumber, my surroundings were getting darker and my hearing was beginning to zone out.

I was finally asleep.

Dreams weren't usually an option for me, I just slept, but this particular time vivid images began to flash in my sight as I slept.

His orbs looked deep with in me. His hands stroking his chin with his head now tilted and his bottom lip in between his teeth. He was staring at me as if I had something missing. Was it my appearance? My attitude? The way I carried myself? The mystery laid through what he was seeing with his soul caving eyes.

My spine shuttered when his frigid hand cupped into mine. My knuckles were being rubbed by his thumb while he continued to stare. His mouth slightly grew ajar, like he wanted to say something. His dark chocolate eyes looked down at our enlaced hands before her opted against speaking.

My gaze was now the one that was doing the searching. He was never one to bite his tongue, no matter how harsh or how sweet it sounded. What was so difficult to say that had him all choked up?

His hand had now grew warm by the grip he had on mine. His eyes avoided my gaze as mine did the exact opposite. "What's the issue?"I quizzed as I sat before him clueless as to why he had now grew standoffish. At this moment, his hand detached from mine before folding with his other. Something was bothering him.

He let out a sigh before holding his head down. Shaking it like he held a grand package of disappointment. Was it something that I did? Or was it something that he did? His eyes trailed back up to me before they halted in my brown orbs. "I pray to God you can forgive me for this."He spoke faintly, still allowing me to hear.

My brows bumped together, what was he talking about? Forgive him for what? Everything that he has done that I've felt was wrong was already forgiven for prior to this whole situation we had going on.

"What are you talking about?"At this point I was past confused. I had absolutely no idea what he was referring to and what was so bad that he was praying to God that I'll forgive him for.

The only thing that could surface in my mind was cheating, but I immediately dead that thought because not only would I not care, but it wouldn't even be referred as cheating. We weren't in a committed relationship, by all means, we both could do what ever the hell we wanted, we just knew each others boundaries and where to and not to cross the line.

His hands clasped together while he bit down on his bottom lip. "Look, I got some heavy shit to get off of my chest."He confessed. I nodded signaling him to continue.

His demeanor seemed hesitant, guilty almost. It was like whatever he was on the verge of telling me was going to inflict him with more pain than it did to me. It couldn't possibly be that bad. His apprehension and timidness was beginning to wear thin on my patience. Him beating around the bush wasn't going to affect my reaction. But then again, I had to sympathize with him. This seems to be eating up completely.

"Just tell me already."I say soothingly yet, I'm pretty sure my impatience could be heard seeping through my voice.

He sighed before his words came spewing out at a mile a minute. He spoke with so much grief, regret and disappointment. His body language displayed that he was sorry for what he had done, but the sad part was, I couldn't hear a word he said. I simply saw his mouth move, his body language and this regretful look in his eyes. As much as I wanted to hear what was so heart wrenching to say, I know it was meant to be for me not to hear it.