His Block

|0.15|

Darkness had now came down on me as I sat at a unknown park, the wind had now picked up and I was beginning to shiver. My arms were now in my jacket that was pulled tight around me. It may be absurd that I'm out here on my lonesome at this hour of the night, but I just wouldn't be able to sit in the same vehicle as my aunt right now I know that I'll be bound to say something that I'll regret.

The street lights illuminated down allowing me to scope my surroundings. At least I knew where I was and my way back home. My day would only get worse if I were to far from home.

The area began to grow quiet as everyone found other places to escape from the mild wind. My curly hair consumed all parts of my face blowing from every direction.

Rising from the wodden bench I tie my hair in a low ponytail before trenching the opposite direction. I opted on not going home quite yet, I needed some privacy, I needed to regain an open mind. With my hands stuffed deep into the pockets of my denim jacket, my charm bracelet caught my attention once again.

The sight of the perfectly designed wrist decoration immediately reminded me of Aven. I wish he was here to guide me through this hardship that was bestowed upon me. Its almost like he has absolutely no struggles. He displays his outside life like he has no worries or problems. He lives optimistically never letting life shorten him of any opportunity. I dream and yearn to live like that.

Instead, I live every day with cobwebs of thoughts being woven in my mind continuously. I'm paranoid. I'm nervous. I'm depressed. I feel alone and deep down inside covered up by fake emotions, I'm angry. Angry at the fact that I was left behind. Angry at the fact that I got wounded by two people who never really cared about me. Angry at the fact that I actually was naive enough to think that Le'Cray and Ximena would actually come back for me and love me with every pumping vessel in their body.

My anger towards them only took a little more of their destruction to my life to convert to hatred. I wanted nothing from them, but to come back and be loving parents to me and sadly they can't even fulfill that small little favor.

Despite me being angry and feeling a bit betrayed, it would be wrong of me to be angry at Milan. She came into this situation just as blind and confused as I was. She had no idea about me and I had no idea about her. Due to my aunts lacking the knowledge of being on one accord with one another, they caused us to be separated and unfamiliar with each other. Although, I would never get over the fact that Milan may have stood as my replacement to my parents, I still have to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is my sister and we are going through the exact situation. Even though the both of us may be processing the whole thing differently, I still want to be there for her. She's younger and probably never experienced sadness and confusion as I did before. She might be able to help me cope while I may be able to help her cope.

Over looking the fact that she is extremely disrespectful, her not being raised by our parents maybe the root to that. While I averted towards to quiet and standoffish route she probably averted towards the furious and disrespectful route. I feel like it's only right for me to get in contact with her again so that we'll both be able to clear the air and filter our thoughts.

Ridding away all thoughts of Milan, my aunt popped up in mind. My heart began to strain at the thought of her words that was said at the dinner. In all honestly when she fixated her lips to say that she was the one to persuade my parents into giving me up, I wanted so badly to react irrationally.

She of all people knows that I struggle with me not being in the supervison of my parents so she should have known this wasn't the time nor place to speak about this.

This whole time she has been telling me a lie. The story she told me prior to this dinner was, I was left in the system and she was able to find me before I could get adopted. She never mentioned the fact that she played a key role in this situation nor did she mention that my parents were unstable. From the knowledge I had of my parents, they seemed perfectly fine to me besides the fact they were totally inconsiderate of their daughters' emotions.