#BedroomConfessions

The Girl Who Writes

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she will secretly watch you sleep at night, memorizing the involuntary movements of your eyes under their lids, the quiver of your lips, the part where you'll deeply breathe in and pull the covers up your shoulders or her arms tighter around you. The way your lashes flutter when you open your eyes in the morning. The distinct husk of your voice and the scent of your unbathe body - - the warm and engulfing scent of you.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she'll draft the night before in the morning with the aroma of the coffee and breakfast she's making, she'll replay everything in her head over and over until your whole being is tattooed on the backs of her mind ready to ink the pen of her imagination anytime she wants you to.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she'll read the dictionary for the umpteenth time and will pick all the words she can use to describe you, not because you're easily describable but because she knows there's a million words she can use but none can describe you most accurately.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she'll be there in every day of your life, closely watching and taking notes of the important events, dates, meetings, lunches, dinners, what food you ordered, which one you loved and hated. She'll save them for future references and you'll relive those events, dates, meetings, lunches, and dinners all together for as long as you have her in your life.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she'll build a hundred plots of the moment she met you, in all the different situations she can think of, but with the same emotions reeling in and out of consciousness. She'll name a dozen characters and places after you. She'll make sure your name is etched in every page and is resonated in every chapter of her stories, very well constructed and punctuated.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she'll chase you to the bus stop after every fight. She'll spot you in every library and bookstore aisle exactly where your favorites are. She'll sing to you, your favorite songs. Buy your favorite flowers just to cheer you up. She'll make sure she'll find you, always, even in the sea of strangers. Because she knows she won't be able to live with the fact that she didn't try and you waited.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she'll come up with the most bizarre things you two can do together. A lunch in a hipster cafe creating verses with magnet poetry, a day in the gallery of indigenous art trying to figure out and understand the artistry of each piece, a spa date complete with massages and hot tubs, a night with spoken word and monologues, a hangout at some bar where your favorite singer is having a gig, or even a late night snack in a vinyl restaurant, and it doesn't matter whether they fit your character or not. It doesn't matter and it never will because the only thing she knows is that, she's doing those bizarre things with you and that's what matters, you. She gets to spend most of her time with you and she hopes you enjoy your time with her too.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she will make sure she would not have all these expectations in her head about you. She'll make sure she won't get too needy or controlling when it comes to you cause she knows like her every character, you need to grow, you ought to grow far from the cast of her shadow. She knows that unlike her characters, people she loves and will love cannot be written to fit the four corners of her word document and that's alright. She's long accepted the fact that she wouldn't be able to make everything perfect for the two of you but she has also made sure that it'll all be worth it. And that no matter what the future holds for the two of you, she quietly promises to be there for you.

The girl who writes will never tell you she loves you.
Instead, she will make you feel it. From the most spectacular declaration of love to the simplest whisper of 'good morning beautiful'. She'll make you feel it. From just watching you sleep, making you breakfast, taking you to places she thinks will exude interest in you to driving you to work, waiting for you to get home and planning her everyday with you. She'll make you feel it. From the way she cups your cheeks before she kisses you, to the way she wraps her arms around you, to the way she tucks your hair behind your ear so she could look you into your eyes before finally, finally having the guts to say it. She'll make you feel it first, before she tells you upfront and she wishes you know by just the way she made you feel it, that she does. She loves you so much with all her heart and with every part of who she is.