AWAKE - kim seok jin

Chapter 25: Article

It's hard. I still don't understand what was actually happening. Jin was still lingering in my mind and I couldn't take him off, even for a second.

Guiltiness enveloped me, thinking how wicked I was to break my promise.

The thing that shocked me the most was the thought of all the things that I've done for the past 5 months were just a dream.

That couldn't be true because all of them felt so real. I could feel everything. It was so vivid and clear.

Once, in the middle of the night, I got up from my hospital bed and took all of the pills on the table; thinking that I should just die instead of living in guilt. But Seojun who was sleeping woke up by the sound of me panting heavily— so he stopped me and called for help, saving me from self harming.

I also felt like it was stupid for me to do that. Although I still badly wanted to go back.

A week had passed after some diagnosis and painful checkups. I bonded a lot with my family members and Seolhyun, but I still have this distant feeling around them. I found out that my parents were abroad, doing business. I scoffed at the thought of that because I could live just fine without them being actually here with me.

I was finally discharged and was brought home by Seojun. The doctor told me to come regularly to check up on my condition, but I think there's no need for that because hospitals make me sick as fuck.

"Welcome home," Seojun opened the door for me and I looked around. It was his apartment, the same one, still. "This is our home. We live together with Jaehyun too since nobody is at your parents' house."

Jaehyun entered the house a few moments later with my bags in his hands and brought them into a room which I assumed was my bedroom.

"Who lives next door?" I gulped. It used to be my apartment.

"It's vacant. Nobody lives there. Why?"

"Ah, nothing." I bit my lip.

I walked towards my room and Jaehyun was just about to get out. He stopped in tracks and he looked down on the floor.

I placed my palm on his shoulder and lifted his chin up. "Jaehyun, noona's sorry. It'll take some time, can you please understand my situation? I can't help it, Jae."

"It's okay, noona." Tears started to accumulate in the brim of his eyes and he immediately pulled me into a hug. "I love you so much, noona. Just, how could you forget me in the first place?"

"I'm sorry, Jae." I patted his back and he pulled back, sniffing. We talked a lot when I was still in the hospital, and I found out he's in his final year of high school and he played soccer.

I have such a handsome and caring little brother, but I can't even remember a hint of him. How cruel of me.

"Enough of this drama," Seojun butted in and laughed. "Let me steal your sister for a moment."

Seojun dragged me into our room and locked the door. He suddenly cupped my face and kissed me gently, closing his eyes in the process. It felt really similar to the dreams that I usually got before. The kiss, the feeling, they're all coming back to reality.

I unconsciously closed my eyes, and responded. I didn't know why but my heart felt something. The feeling was buried deep down in my heart and I—chose to keep pushing it farther.

"Stop," I broke the kiss. "I'm sorry but I'm still not.. comfortab—"

"It's okay, jagi." he whispered into my ears and kissed my forehead. "I understand. For now, I'll just sleep with Jaehyun, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

"Goodnight, I love you." he said lovingly and placed one last kiss on my cheek before he left the room.

I closed my eyes tight. What was this feeling? No Areum, you shouldn't feel like this at all. This was wrong, Jin would be upset.

I sat on my bed after washing up and turned on the laptop, resting it on my lap.

I scrolled through my social medias and it was new for me— apparently I still had all my accounts logged in and they had never once been logged out ever since I got into coma.

I saw a lot of 'get well soon' wishes from 5 months ago. Why should I receive those wishes? I was already so well at that time and I lived a carefree life.

I scrolled through my timeline and one article caught my eye.

BTS TO RESUME ACTIVITY AFTER MONTHS OF HIATUS by Soompi

After about half a year of hiatus, BigHit Entertainment has announced that BTS will resume to their activities next month after an unfortunate event that had happened to one of the members, earlier this June.

Their schedules were pushed back due to the tragic accident, and fans were elated to finally hear the good news of BTS to finally work on their comeback!

We hope that all things will go well for them and no more accidents will occur in the near future.

Click here to see the sneak peek of BTS' 2nd album comeback, title and release date are yet to be known.

We wish all the best to BTS!

[picture taken on October 2015 - HALLOWEEN]

———

My gaze was fixated to the guy in the pumpkin costume.

This couldn't be true, was that Jin? He looked so much like him, it felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me.

"No, no, no.." I muttered to myself.

I searched up BTS and there I saw all of the members' biodata.

Kim Seokjin, it said there.

It's him. It's fucking him.

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things about to go down

its like 1:40am in my country and i have school tomorrow. what am i doing

saranghae xx