Collision Course

Chapter 16: Guitar Lessons

The shower water had been running down my back for longer than I expected. All the mud that caked my hair was gone leaving a faint trace of men's shampoo that I had to use. My body had been scrubbed so many times the skin on my arms was a raw pink. I was perfectly clean. Yet I stayed underneath the silver shower head for longer than a couple minutes.

I wasn't sure why but I couldn't seem to move away. Instead, I let the heavy pellets of propelled water splash down my back while I  my head went limp against the wall. All I did was stare at the silver drain in between my wide feet. It was pointless but I was doing it anyway.

A while ago there was a quiet hum as another shower was turned on and my water got cold for a while. Wes had taken a short shower, from what I gathered. I did feel kind of bad that he had to suffer through more cold water but I was selfish enough to not turn off my heat for him.

Even though I knew exactly what I was doing, I chose to blame my rudeness on the fact that I couldn't get his face out of my head. The way he stared so intently into my eyes like they were actually captivating had my stomach flipping. It was one of the only times I ever look into another person's eyes. Instead of looking away like I would for anyone else, I found myself staring back.

That was all I kept seeing were his eyes. The brown irises that sparkled with flecks of gold that had me entranced. Every time I shut my eyes or even blinked all, his face popped up reminding me of that stupid moment we shared. It's absolute torture.

The last time I looked into someone's eyes for longer than a second they weren't just there when I blinked, they haunted my nightmares. Every night their eyes would fill with unshed tears and pain that ripped me apart. All they did was stare at me blankly as the life drained from their face. Then all that was left was their eyes. Watching me, judging me, pleading for me to help them but I was stuck just watching. I hated every moment of it.

I didn't want to look into Wes' eyes, to feel this flip in my stomach, to be entranced in his chocolate orbs. The way that his touch sent tingles through my body and made me want more scared me. The enticing scent that coated him was heavenly and had quickly become my new favorite smell was frightening. It was too much too soon and it scared me more than the countless nights I spent awake because of that awful night.

The Earth isn't the center of the universe, its scientifically proven, yet it seems that my entire life revolves around her. Every single thing I do leads me back to her. Every stare, every fight, every person, everything. I'm stuck on a one way track with a car crashing in on every side.

One minute the track is clear, a picture perfect image that would've been posted on some social media by an 'outcast' girl. In a split second, all those concealed emotions and thoughts come crashing in, destroying any kind of protection I tried to put up. It's like a life flashing before your eyes and suddenly your body isn't yours to control, it's in the hands of fate. One little slip could send you drowning under water.

Suddenly, standing underneath the pounding water that was steadily growing colder didn't seem like the best thing to me. The stream felt like ice dripping down my back sending chills through my body. The white walls surrounding me were far too close for comfort, growing closer each second. Encasing me in an inescapable cage, the walls moved closer and shoved me deeper underwater.

I wanted to scream out, to push and shove my way out of the walls until my fingertips bled. The urge to claw my way out of this death trap tore through my body and I practically ached for some kind of pain. It was the only thing that could distract me, thinking of banging my fists against the white tile until my knuckles split open.