❤ Innocent Rebel ❤

Chapter 48

◌⑅⃝●♡⋆♡●⑅◌ when it's real, you can't just walk away. ◌⑅⃝●♡⋆♡●⑅◌

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Lex
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I wasn't sure what I was expecting her to do when she found out. Be angry, yes. Happy, I hoped. But I hadn't thought that she would kick me out of my own bedroom, to sleep on the couch. She hadn't wanted me to explain. She needed time, she said. To let it all soak in. I could understand that, I really could, but why in the hell did she have to kick me out? Couldn't she let it soak in with me there in bed with her? I wanted to be close to her, hold her, make love to her, but she wouldn't let me.
After she pushed me out of my room and shut the door in my face, I had wondered down to the kitchen. My father sat at the island, though it was still hard to see him, since the power was still out. He jumped when he saw me.

"Jesus! Lex what are you doing here? She could see you," he hissed.

I wave my hand. "She already knows. She found me in my room."

His eyes widened in shock. "Good God, and she didn't faint?"

I shock my head. "No. I think she thought I was a ghost or a dream or something. But when she did finally realizes, she slapped the shit out of me."

He grinned. "I knew I liked that girl. It's no more than what you deserve, doing this to her, to all of them. I'm sure Chris might give you a whopper when he finds out too."

And boy did he.
Chris had nearly knocked me off my feet. Jess had yelled at me most of the morning. And Mawmaw landed a slap of her own because of all the sadness I had caused. But they had all agreed to keep my existence a secret. For my safety and Mia's.
We were all in the dining room, eating breakfast when Mia finally came down. Our eyes met but she was quick to look away. I couldn't help but watch her as she ate. Last night, I hadn't really had much of a chance to look at her and now I realize just what I have put her through.
She's lost so much weight. Her hair hangs around her, longer than it had been the last time I had seen her. Dark circles around her eyes. Her cheeks are sunk in and the bones in her chest stick out.
Guilt washes over me hard.
But I'm glad to see her eating.
After our meal, I try once again to speak to her. But she just walks away from me. Leaving me at the foot of the stairs.
Oscar is the only one who doesn't give me much grief and he is happy to explain what had been going on since I have been away. I listen to him with only half of my attention.
I want so badly to go to her.
But I don't.
She needs time.
Space.
But dammit! Hasn't she had enough space from me these last few months?
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her, slipping out the back door. She doesn't seem to realize that I had seen her. I grab my sun glasses and leave Oscar, telling him I will be back later.
I follow behind, but keeping a safe distance from her. She wanders on, unaware that I am just behind her. She walks through the gardens, touching flowers here and there. The leaves under her feet crunch. The sun is out today, finally the storm has past.
She sits in our gazebo. The wind playing with her hair. She bends her knees up and wraps her arms around them. She looks so small. And sad.
I step up into the gazebo and she jumps. I don't say anything when she rolls her eyes at me and turns her head away.

"Mia, please, talk to me,"I beg.

I hate begging, always have, but for her I will always do anything for her. Even beg.

With the slightest movement, she shakes her head. "No. I'm not ready to talk."

I sigh, not knowing what to do, I turn on my heal.

"You know, in our time together, you've done some pretty fucked up shit but this?!" As soon as she spoke, I stopped and turned back to her. "This is..... The worst."

I nod. "I know, Mia, but I did it for you."

"For me?! For me. You didn't do this for me. You could have told me. You should have told me what you were doing. But no. You just left me in the dark. And it damn near killed me!"

"Mia, everyone had to think I was dead, even you. People would have wondered why you weren't upset by my death, you know that. You think this was easy for me? It wasn't. I watched you. The day that you thought you buried me, I saw you screaming and crying and there wasn't shit I could do about it! I had to watch my best friend pull you away from the casket. See him cry. Watch as you tired to hold it together. I thought that when you found my letter you would know that-"

She cuts me off. "It was from you!"

"Of course it was from me."

She blinks her tears away. "How could I have known that was from you! You were supposed to be dead!"

I toss my hands up and start to walk away. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. She's upset if I'm dead and even more upset that I'm living. I cannot win this fight. But before I am too far she speaks again.

"So, just like that? You're just going to walk away?"

I turn back to her again. Hands up in the air. "Well? What do you want me to do Mia? I've tried talking to you and you say you don't wanna talk. I tried explaining and you don't wanna hear that either. So, what do you want from me?"

She screams, "I don't know!"
She sits back down. Her face hidden in her hands, crying.
I go to her. Sitting down next to her. She moves into my arms. Sobbing.

"Why? Why did you have to do this to me?" she whimpers.

And it's now time to explain everything.

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