❤ Innocent Rebel ❤

Chapter 63

(｡•́︿•̀｡)I don't see how things can ever be the same(｡•́︿•̀｡)
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Mia
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My day off is a rainy one. It matches my mood. Since Lex is in town, Oscar will remain here until they leave together. Oscar called me this morning to inform me of this, he also told me how much trouble he was in.
Oscar isn't too happy about how angry Lex was but I asked him what did he expect, running off the way he did.
Oscar had no idea why Lex was here other than coming to get him. But Oscar thinks that it was just the perfect excuse for him to see me. I'm still confused and irritated by Lex's visit. It was weird that he would just show up, with flowers, and just to say hi but I find it even more strange that he had been standing right there when Nick had kissed me. He had been so calm. So cool. The Lex I knew would have broken Nick's neck for it. But he hadn't.
Of course, Lex has always had a strange way of doing things but this was definitely different.
I sit by my window with a hot cup of tea, trying to sort out my thoughts, when Mawmaw knocks on the door.

"Can I come in?" she asks.

I nod. "Of course."

She sits on the edge of my bed. "You know when you were a little girl, you were always obsessed with growing up and falling in love."

I try my best not to roll my eyes. "What are you getting at?"

"This guy, Nick, he is a nice young man. He owns his own business. He seems to have everything put together. But I can't help but wonder, is he really what you want?"

I sigh. "I'm not sure what I want anymore Mawmaw. I thought I knew but now I'm not so sure."

"I know that things are hard right now but honey, you love him."

"I know that," I snap, not really meaning too. "I'm sorry. I just.... I don't what to do."

Mawmaw smiles in her understanding way. "I know that."

"I just wish that I what to do."

"Well, that's easy. Follow your heart."

I give her a crooked smile. "Isn't that a bit cliché?"

She shrugs. "Maybe so but isn't it true?"

She stands to leave then. Leaving me with my thoughts. I know where my heart will lead me, it will always lead me to Lex.

My phone buzzes. A text from Jess. I miss her so much, especially right now. She would know what to do. But I don't text back. Not right now. I need to relax. Think. Be alone.
I decide to take a bubble bath. Not something I do very often but I feel the need to sink into the warm water. I light some candles and try to relax. My nerves are shot.
I'm not sure how long I lay in the tub.
An hour, maybe two.
Long enough for the water to turn cold.
When I return to my bedroom, I find two missed calls and several texts.
Two from Nick.
Another from Jess.
And one from Lex.

Automatically, I open Lex's message first.

'Hey. Just wanted to see if you were busy this evening?'

I text back. 'I'm just staying in tonight.'

While waiting for Lex to respond, I look at Nick's text.

'I just wanted to say that I had so much fun with you. I know you're not ready for a relationship but I hope I can change your mind.'

I sigh and read Nick's second message.

'I don't want to scare you off or freak you out in anyway. I just really like you.'

I know he really likes me, and I like him, but I just don't feel the same way he does. The last thing I want is to hurt him. Nick is such a sweet guy and he gave me a job when no one else would. I don't want to be a cause of a broken heart. I really don't. But how can I explain that to him?
Lex doesn't respond.
Jess just wanted to know how I've been lately. We end up talking for about two hours. Its only when the doorbell rings that I hang up with her.
I answer the door in my pajamas and my hair in a bun on top of my head. While talking to Jess I applied a green face mask. So, when I open the door and Lex is standing there, I could die.

"Woo," he says surprised to see me like this.

I raise a brow. "Gee, thanks. What do you want?"

He blinks but then smiles. Obviously liking the fact that I look ridiculous.

"Sorry, I've just never seen....one of those in real life. I mean, I've seen women wear them on TV but I don't know.... It just shocked me okay? Besides you how beautiful I think you are."

I just give him a look that says, 'yeah, yeah'.

"You ignored my question. What do you want?" I ask.

He holds up a sack. He hands it to me, very pleased with himself. I open the bag and inside I find my favorite ice-cream and a chick flick. One of my favorite movies. Pride and Prejudice.

"What is this?" I look up to him.

His smile fades. "I just thought you like to watch a movie. You said it was one of your favorites. Then again isn't it every girls favorite? But I thought you would like it."

I cross my arms. "Lex, what are you doing?"

He leans one arm up against the door frame. My eyes scan his tattooed arms and I have to shake my head to snap myself out of it.

"I was hoping you could invite me in to watch it with you."

"No, Lex. I mean why are you showing up like this. The flowers and ice-cream and a movie. We aren't together anymore remember?"

"I know that, baby, but-"

"Stop it! I'm not your baby anymore."

He gave me just a flash of a grin before he returned serious once more.

"That's where your wrong. You will always be my baby."

"Lex, I can't do this-"

He holds up a hand. "Don't cry, Mia. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just had to see you. I know that I've hurt you before. But I'm different now. I swear I am. I realized that all I'm ever going to want out of this life is you. I want you. And I will do whatever it takes to get you back. I will wait years if I have to."

"Lex, please, just go away," I try to contain my tears and shut the door.
He stops me of course.
And he takes my hand.

"No, Mia. You have to hear this. I was angry, and stupid, I thought that I had everything figured out but I didn't. I've spent the last few weeks walking around trying to understand where I went wrong. And I get it now, I want to be the man you need. I want to the man you want. I can do it. I know I can. A woman can't make a bad guy become good for her. The man becomes good for because he loves her. He wants to become better for her. I want to be better for you. I love you, Mia. I always have. And I'm always going too."

My cheeks are wet. My body is shaking. He has just said everything I wanted him to say and yet...

"I love you too but I need some time."

He smiles. "Can I at least have hope?"

I nod. "You can have hope."

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