In the end I failed. I fail at everything no matter what it is. But now it's different because the failure just reminded me of why I shouldn't go against 'It'. I think it was the first chapter I wrote when I introduced 'It'. Well let me refresh your memory of what 'It' does:
Depression
Anger
Hatred
Worthless-ness
Useless-ness
Loneliness
Pain- emotional & physical
The want to die
The want to inflict pain on yourself for
an escape
That is what it brings when it comes to you. And when you resist or go against 'It' eventually sooner or later you regret it. I am getting ahead of myself a little bit so letme go back and explain to you which one of these I tried in a failed attempt to suppress. The want to inflict pain on yourself for an escape. I attempted to cut but all the things that ever made you want to cause pain to yourself 'It' makes them all 100x worse than the usually. 'It' wants to make you destroy on the outside by destroying you on the outside.
I know 3 things as of now.
1) I will not try to stop cutting
2) this is the end of my resistance to 'It'
3) this is the last chapter I will right in this story
Let it be known I wrote less towards the end chapters because I couldn't find the stability in my mind to go on for long, but that's all over. Cutting has been the only friend
Through out my life. The only one I've never had to say goodbye too.
So this is me admitting my Failure's and starting not only The End but The Beggining....
I guess this is GoodBye for now and may you never have to know such a freak as my self....
