Crying? Cutting? There both signs of internal pain. Difference? Crying is simple everyone does it those who cry too much are us salt judged. Cutting it's worse it's hard to be I'm so much pain as to want to injure yourself. But the best thing about crying is that if you never let yourself she's tears everyone thinks your happy all the time, so no one checks for those scars from burning or cutting.
The was a time in life all I wanted was for everyone to be happy....
Now look at me, all I want is for the pain to stop.... Having to say I feel sick and want to be left alone, even though I want you to stay and hold me as for the first time in years I let actual tears flow. If I did that you'd never want to see me again. If I let go now I'll come crumbling down from where my walls have been built up. I need you you to read my mind. I know that's never gonna happen. You won't care enough to try with me when I go around saying I feel sick to everyone. The only thing I'm sick of is the pain. When I say I'm tired. I'm only tired of being alive.
I just don't know how much more I can deal with I guess that if I keep cutting and have the occasional drugs I will last a while... How broken is someone to need all these things just to drive them to live.... I don't want this life.. I don't care if I'm the one taking it or not but I want it to end. I want to feel that strange limp feeling the floating.. Drifting away from it all.
What is holding me back? I don't know... It could be I am trying to hold on in hopes I'll meet someone who will make me feel alive again instead of a walking zombie.. Just going through the motions.
This is all weird knowing you'll read it one day someone I know might read it and see how screwed up I am wondering if I made a reference to them. Truth is I did to everyone who is supposed to be close to me. But as you can tell they don't care.
Now I Have No one to Express The Pain too... Would you help me? What's better Crying or Cutting...... <3
