Country Girls - Discontinued

Chapter 10 - Carolyn

It had been a about two months living with Ally and Jess and Linda and josh and everybody here in New York.

I was out on the town with Jess in a little boutique. Searching for nice dresses to wear to the club. We were just laughing and catching up and wasting the money on the credit cards. I was enjoying myself and it seemed like Jess was too.

"Carolyn could I talk to you?" She turned to me with a concerned look as we carried some shopping bags out of the store and onto the sidewalk.

"Yeah what's up?" I said a bit confused wondering why she changed the mood.

"It's just you say that you're so angry at your mom but still you spend her money, and waste all this time talking about her. With you it seems like your really milking this whole moving to New York thing, I mean at first you seemed like you didn't like it but now it seems like you changed your whole attitude. it seems like you changed yourself and to be honest. it looks like she's buying you off is that what you want to doing? are you..... are you changing because of all of this?" Jess's voice was quiet and mild. it seemed like she was reluctant to ask.

I was quiet.

I didn't know how to react or respond. I wasn't being bought. I'm still the same girl I was back home. I looked down at the shopping bags and all the new stuff I was carrying around. The phone, the bag, the Tiffany tennis bracelet.

I guess I have changed. But I don't mind, I deserve nice things right?

"I haven't changed I'm still the same Carolyn. I mean she left me... And what was I supposed to do when I got all this? I should get to have the life that Josh got to live. I want the fancy things, fancy clothes even though I wasnt in the best setting when I grew up doesn't mean that I don't deserve nice things right? you're not mad at me because of that are you?" I asked her honestly.

"You weren't in the best swtting? I would have hated to have met you if you were one of those sparkle loving brats that bullied me all my life. I thought you were the boots over boys girl. Look, I'm not mad at you I just thought you were more grounded than that. your just... your just letting all these shiny new plastic toys fill your head you're not grounded as you used to be. It's almost like you have become all those loser girls we laughed about when you were little?" Jess said again a bit louder.

More silence.

I could barely respond. She was right. I need to find myself again.

"Hey Carolyn are you gonna say anything or just ignore me?" She snapped.

"You know what? You wait and see okay Carolyn won't be swooned by all that but I will keep spending her money and I like the new style so, Let's just get our outfits and get out here we should probably be getting back to the house anyways. don't worry about me. we don't want to be late getting ready and leaving the house right?" I sped up a bit and Jess followed behind reluctantly.

"TAXI!" I shouted waiting for one to pull up.

"TAXI!" I shouted again.

"oh come on you forgot how to get someone's attention?" Jess laughed.

I put my finger in my mouth and whistled once. Right then I got the yellow checker cab to stop.

"There ya go Carrie." Jess laughed as she got in the car.

"Just stick to a nickname Jess it's either Lynn or Carrie. Kill the flip flopping" I laughed climbing in the car behind her.

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We got to the house and found Ally already dressed.

"Hey where were y'all?" She asked with her accent pouring through.