Don't Worry

Chapter Five

Choromatsu gasped for air as he jerked up from the sofa, startled by the sound of someone yelling. His heart beating much faster than it normally should, he rubbed his eyes and yawned a little.

And after fully regaining his senses, Choromatsu realized that the yells were just Jyushimatsu.

"Hustle hustle! Muscle muscle!"Jyushimatsu yelled from outside the house, swinging his bat around with Ichimatsu tied tightly to it.

"You scared me..." Choromatsu thought, his heart slowing down a bit. "But at least nothing was going wrong..."

Choromatsu turned around and stared at the floor for several minutes, getting lost in his thoughts.

"That dream..." he thought, anxiety wrapping around his small heart. "Ichimatsu was right...I don't need to keep on living anymore. There's no point. I'm never going to gain their love and trust back. But I don't think they ever had any for me in the first place...Still...I'm just a shell of my former self. The words never come. They never come when I want to actually tell someone what I'm feeling. Is that just me being a coward? I know my brothers tease a lot...but they never have teased about serious questions. I should...I should at least tell Osomatsu what I've been feeling....but Ichimatsu...Ichimatsu would most likely understand how bad I feel. He told me that suicide is the best way, and I'm starting to think he was right. If I could just...attempt to do what he told me to do...would it fix everything...?"

And without having realized what he was doing, Choromatsu grabbed a clump of his hair and began to pull on it. Luckily, when he did know what he was doing, he hadn't pulled it all out. There were only a few black strands of hair in the palm of his hand, but it wasn't so few that they couldn't be seen.

"Dang it..." Choromatsu thought, looking around frantically. "Nobody saw that, right..?"

And at that moment, Osomatsu walked into the room, yawning lazily as he pulled his reddish hoodie over his still messy hair.

Choromatsu just looked away, focusing on the hand with hair in it. But, unfortunately, that only made Osomatsu notice the hair as well.

"Hey," Osomatsu said, his voice still a bit grumbly from waking up. "are you okay, Choromatsu?"

Choromatsu looked up at his brother, staring directly into his eyes.

"I should tell him..." Choromatsu thought. "But he would laugh, wouldn't he? He would tell me how stupid I'm being about all of this. I...I just don't...I don't want him to Jude me more than he already has...."

"Choromatsu?" Osomatsusan asked again, then turned around, leaving the room, stretching.

"Thank God he left..." Choromatsu thought, letting out a sigh of relief as he dropped his strands of hair onto the floor.

A few minutes later...

All six brothers sat closely together around their table, eating a wonderful breakfast of white rice.

"What are your plans today?" Todomatsu asked Karamatsu who was sitting uncomfortably close to Ichimatsu.

Jyushimatsu hugged Ichimatsu from the side, laughing for no reason, his mouth full of food.

"Brother," Karamatsu said with a laugh. "I will go play pachinko!"

"You're gonna be poor by the end of the day," Ichimatsu spat, eating his rice without another word.

"What about you then, Ichimatsu?" Todomatsu asked with a slight smirk. "What are you going to do today?"

"Does it matter..." Ichimatsu muttered, slouching over even more than he already was.

"Everything seems slightly off today..." Choromatsu thought as he stared at his bowl of rice in despair.

"Ichimatsu nii-san and I are going to sit on the roof since it's sunny today!" Jyushimatsu exclaimed, jumping up from the table, holding his now empty bowl of rice in the air.

"Tch..." Ichimatsu spat, getting up from the table, moving to the corner of the room, sitting down next to ESP kitty.

"I wish I could use ESP kitty to see if my brothers all secretly hate me..." Choromatsu thought, taking a small bite of his rice. "Then I would...I would...I wouldn't feel any better. Sometimes the truth ends up hurting more..."