After breaking it off with Blaine, Jaela felt bad for everything. It was still early in the school year and she had hurt 3 guys. She hadn't spoken to her friends since they went on that movie date. She had been preoccupied with these boys and school she hasn't been fully there. So for the next few weeks, Jaela promised herself that she would spend whatever time she had free with her friends, her mum and to check her grades. Once the weekend was over, Jaela found it funny that all of that happened in 3 days. That her life changed courses in one weekend. She decided she needs to tie loose ends somehow make herself feel better for hurting them all. So she texted Jem to meet her after school.
He arrived a bit later than she would have guessed but she wouldn't suppose he'd be glad to meet with her after what she'd said to him. She was waiting in the hallway near the band room as he walked up, in his usual slouched position with his hand in his pocket. He looked up and sees Jaela of course he came here to meet her but it's different to think it than actually see it. She looked the same as usual, but something about the after look of someone after you've seen all of them. She would never compare to how she looked that night even with her messed up hair and no make up. But he looked at her. And smiled. Smiled even though he was no where near happy. Blaine hadn't spoken to him since the week before when apparently Jaela broke it off with Blaine. It's not like he had anything to do with it, but he understood why Blaine would think that so he let him be. He would be leaving soon anyway.
"What's up?" He asked as he realized they were just sitting here in silence in an empty hallway. Jaela was deep in her thoughts as much as Jem was. She hadn't thought she'd feel like this. She missed his embrace, she was doing all she could to resist the urge to hug him right then in the hallway, she couldn't make him hurt anymore than he obviously already did. His eyes had like 5 more bags and they couldn't remain on her for more than 5 seconds. But when he said something she is blasted back to that night. His voice as he asked her, his voice the next morning, his voice she never thought she'd hear again. She began to cry.
"I'm sorry, Jem. I'm so sorry." She said sobbing she couldn't hold back anymore she raced to him which is only a few feet but how far he felt away from her emotionally made it feel like a few miles. She crashed into his chest crying. Jem was confused why was she was apologizing of course she had hurt him but what's to be expected when he fell face first for a girl he hardly knew and let his feelings get ahead of his logic, it was his repetitive pattern he thought he'd never get over. He rubbed her back until her tears stopped.
"I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better. All that I said that morning. I didn't mean it like that. I couldn't wish for another person to have gone that far with. I trust you more than any other boy, and maybe that was what was meant to happen maybe we were supposed to be so vulnerable maybe we were supposed to take comfort in each other because Jem, I don't regret I don't regret it at all. When I saw you walking up, I had to resist more than I ever have to come and hug you. I hurt you I can tell but please forgive me" she says finally. She felt like that was all in one breath when she was done. She caught her breath and stared up at him.
Jem sat there thinking over what she said. She said she didn't regret it? Then why would she make such a big deal out of it? She said she was sorry but why would she crash into him like that? Why would she make him feel like this? How was he supposed to react? What had he wanted? What more was there to expect?
Jaela watched as Jem's expression softened. His eyes back on her he looked at her. Her eagerness for his reply that reminded him of the first time he was alone with her in his car and he told her that he'd wait for her. Even though he couldn't he had to give up on her for his friends. And he remembered how she had forgiven him so quickly before he even came to apologize and immediately regretted not forgiving her sooner. But how could he know how she would feel, she seemed to focus back on Blaine.
"I forgive you" he said finally and weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She began to cry again.
"Thank you" she said.
"But I have a question..." Jem said. Jaela was afraid of what he might ask considering the situation there are tons of things he might ask and she's not sure what's she will answer.
"Do you love me? Or do you ever see yourself loving me? Did you know what you were doing that night? I'm sorry that's more than one question.." Jem said. He wasn't planning on asking all that or even the first question all he wanted was answers to questions he didn't know he had. He stood there as she considered his questions. He suddenly got nervous what if she said no... she couldn't. But what if she did? What would he do? What wouldn't he do? He had no plan for any of this...
"Yes" she said simply. Smiling softly up at him. But what was she saying yes to?
"Yes to what?" He asked after trying to figure it out helplessly.
"Yes, yes to everything" she said.
