Bulletproof Love

Please God

"Good Morning Miss." The nurse said.

"Huh? Oh Good Morning."

"Well we have some bad news."

"Please, no. Please no." I was praying. I didn't want what I was thinking to be true.

"It's not as bad as you think. Well, um, your son. He isn't dead, but he isn't alive either."

"What does that mean?" I croaked.

"Well, we've heard you've had experience with this. With your friend Kaylaa. Well Elijah, he's in an animus."

"But Kaylaa was lucky. They said animus' don't always work."

"Yes, that means that your son does have a chance of dying. I'm so sorry miss. Oh, and your husband is in the hall. You can leave with him now, if you like."

The nurse helped me up. We walked to Trey and into the car.

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We drove in silence until Trey said, "I'm sorry."

"I don't care about your apolagies. My son is fucking dead and it's all because of you." I said coldly.

"He's not dead. Remember Kaylaa? My sister? Yeah well she went through te same thing. She survived, why can't you think the same about our son?"

"He's not our son. He's my son."

"But -"

"Do you know what it feels like to have no mother?" I blurted out.

Oops. I didn't mean to say that. Or did I? No, that was totally mean and uncalled for.

A flash of hurt and guilt flashed on Trey's face.

"Look I'm sorry." I said.

"No. You shouldn't be sorry. I did all this pain to you. Because of me you can't have your mother here to mend your broken heart. To talk to whenever you're in pain. To do your hair. To cook you soup when your sick. I've been the one to make you go through all this pain. I don't even know why you still love me."

Now it was my turn to feel guilt. I put my hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. We were young and innocent then. we didn't know what was going on. It was my dad's fault. For leaving that gun out in plain sight. We all thought it was pretend. It's not your fault." I was crying now.

"But your wrong. Fiona, you have to know the truth."

The truth?

"Your dad, he was having an affair. And then your mom found out, and they would always fight. And that's why he bought the gun. He wanted to kill her. But I wouldn't let him. And so he told me to do it. He said if I didn't he would shoot me dead, and my family too. But I didn't, so he shot me." He pulled up his shirt sleeve and revealed a scar. "I got this from the gun. Since I lived, he gave me on last chance. He gave me the gun, and I pulled the trigger, and I shot your mother."

He was crying.

"NO! YOU'RE LYING! PAPA WOULD NEVER DO THAT! PAPA AND MAMI WERE BEST FRIENDS! FIGHTERS UNTIL THE END! AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE SOME WHORE MESSED THIS ALL UP? IT WAS YOUR FAULT!"

"DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY IT WASN'T MY FAULT? THAT WE WERE YOUNG AND INNOCENT THEN? FIONA, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT ALL THOSE TIMES ME AND JACOB MADE YOU GO TO YOUR SECRET HIDING PLACE WE WERE PLAYING HIDE AND GO SEEK? NO! WE WERE HIDING FROM YOUR FATHER! TRYING TO SECLUDE YOU FROM THE HELL WE CALL THE REAL WORLD!"

"WELL THEN YOU DID A MIGHTY GOOD JOB OF SECLUDING ME! I HAVE SCARS! I GOT RAPED! I WAS STABBED WITH A KNIFE!"

"Stabbed? What the hell are you talking about?"

"WHEN I WAS YOUNGER! PAPI! HE WOULD RAPE ME! BEFORE THE FIRST TIME I SAID NO! THEN HE STABBED ME! AFTER THAT I LET HIM! I'VE BEEN RAPED SO MANY TIMES!" Now I was crying. "Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place, Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you? Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you're screaming? Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around?With their big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding? No, you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right. You don't know what it's like, To be like me; To be hurt, To feel lost, To be left out in the dark, To be kicked when you're down, To feel like you've been pushed around, To be on the edge of breaking down, And no one's there to save you."

"Fiona, I'm sorry." Trey said.

"NO! No one ever lied straight to your face. And no one ever stabbed you in the back. You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay. Everybody always gave you what you wanted; You never had to work it was always there. You don't know what it's like, what it's like!"

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A/N That was...wow! I was crying when I wrote this. Did you cry? No? Well then you have no heart. JKJKJK. But yeah. Thanks for reading, and not skipping my authors notes. I mean I'm famous for these! It's part of the book! Next Chapter at 50 reads!

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