The pressure of not knowing

Campus by night - part 1

I open my eyes. I back in my room only the floor and ceiling is black again, and all but one wall is pink. The white wall has a door on it, it's same door but there is pictures on it this time and my name written in a twelve years old writing. The pictures were of Eli the day I met her. The first time I looked at George the day we got a lift from him and he said yes to me staying over. I looked at some other photos. There was Benjamin, Aiden, Ethan, my mom and dad and 1 more of George the day I had randomly touched his stomach in the kitchen. I tried to reach the door again to look closer at the pictures. It was closer than before but I still couldn't get to it. I ran, and I ran. Never reaching it. Something was holding me back; it felt like it was dragging me away. At one point it felt like I was being pulled back, hard, then falling, falling, falling.

*****

You know the feeling when you wake up with an epileptic twitch because you fall in a realistic dream so the fall feels real you hit the ground and BAM you wake up. I heard once that it's because your soul shortly leaves your body, and your angel puts your soul back. Except I couldn't do the full epileptic twitch because a pair of strong-arms holding me. I turned around and saw George was the owner of the arms holding me. He looked so relaxed, he kind of reminds me of a sweet innocent child. I tried to look at the clock somehow, three AM. I rolled back into my first position. My back against his warm chest. That's when it hit me. He wasn't wearing a shirt. I snuggled closer to him feeling nothing wrong in my actions. His arms tightened around me instinctively.

*****

The sun hits my face as I wake up once again. I feel colder than when I woke up in the middle of the night. I looked at where I found George last night but he was nowhere to be found. I rose from the bed wanting to find him when my stomach growled. I decided to wrap myself in his duvet. Walking to the kitchen something smelled very good. I rounded the corner of the kitchen, and there he was. Loose pants hanging lowly on his hips. No shirt, not that I was complaining. ''Good morning. '' I managed to say with my rough morning voice. He turned and looked at me, when he saw me a smile grew on his face. ''good morning. I see you stole my duvet. '' He grinned looking back on the eggs he was currently cooking. I chuckled. '' well yeah, I felt cold. '' I sat down by the island admiring Georges as he cooked. However, that joy was soon over as he was done with the food and handed me a plate and leaning on the kitchen counter while eating his own plate of eggs showing off his tasty stomach. I ate slowly today too busy with looking at George. When we both were done eating the awkward silence fell upon us. I looked at the clock. It's Friday so we have to be at school at 10 AM it is currently 9 AM. ''you know you should really put on a shirt before we go to school. '' I looked at him, while feeling a small tug on the left corner of my mouth. I stood up walking to the dishwasher with my dirty plate and fork. '' Well maybe that would be for the best. '' He laughed. Oh dear god how I loved his Laugh. He was about to walk out the kitchen when I realized I still had his duvet. ''Wait! '' He stopped in his steps and looked back at me. I unwrapped myself from his duvet and gave it to him so he could bring it back so that I didn't have to.

*****

School went by in a blur. Eli wasn't there for lunch so I ended up eating with B. A. and E. I wondered if George would want to give me a lift home even though Eli wasn't here. I wondered about this for the rest of the day. School was hard since I missed a lot of it so I worked hard to get good notes and I had more classes then anyone on campus because of what I missed in high school and so on. When I was done with school, I walk out to the parking lot still wondering how I would get home. I looked around the almost empty parking lot. Some sport folks were standing around a car in the far corner of the parking lot. Some girls was walking towards them.