Drawn Love

Drawn Love-Chapter 3-Anger management

I saw countless storms in my life, but never have I seen one that destroyed as much of me as you did, my dear.

Nikolai’s P.O.V.

 

I was feeling extra pissy today. I couldn’t sleep all night and my mind was scrambled. Lifting weights didn’t help. Taking a shower didn’t help. Writing didn’t help. And right now I was just itching to either hit something repeatedly for an extended period of time or break something that would make a lot of loud noises as it tumbled down.

I made sure to make as much noise and to hit as many objects in my room so I wouldn’t do downstairs and bring my anger to my family, but no matter what I did I couldn’t tone down the rage inside of me.

So I did something I knew would help me. It always did before when I got angry as shit with and without reason.

Passing my brothers room I made my way downstairs taking out my phone. I sent a quick text message and without looking out for anyone or saying goodbye, I left the house. My family will know what was going on with me, though only my brother will know how I’m taking care of it.

When my anger really got out of control sometimes, I would go to my brother to take care of it. When I was younger and my anger problems started showing, my parents wanted me to go to counseling and therapy and take anger management, but I refused.

I didn’t want to be treated like a lunatic or a person that didn’t have control over himself. But in situations like these I wondered if maybe I should’ve listened to them and went to anger management. Maybe that would’ve helped.

Though I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t. Hell, I trained loads of martial arts and every time I fought someone in a ring or anywhere else, my anger intensified tenfold. The wish to win became the will to seriously hurt and damage.

I drove up to the kick boxing club training hall and made my way towards the entrance. No one was here yet and I had a couple of hours before school because I was planning on missing the first and maybe second period. If I went to school still angry I wouldn’t spare anyone and with there being a lot of annoying people in the school I was damn sure that I would kill someone.

The person I was looking for was already warming up on the side of the fighting area. The two of us never used the ring because it was too confining. Plus when we agreed on doing this we were really not in the mood to get in and out of the ring.

“You and your fucking problems made me fucking leave my boyfriend to go to the fucking school alone.” he growled menacingly and turned around, showing his impressive figure, “Plus I’ll have to miss some classes knowing you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” I snapped and without warning charged him.

I didn’t bother with changing my clothes into something more comfortable or even taking off my combat boots. Neither did he.

When I called him like this, he was pissed off too. And then when we went at it, we went at it really good. One of us or both ended up with cuts or bruises mostly. Then we went on with our day as if nothing happened. And if someone asked what happened to us, we would just like and say we fell or something similar.

That’s one of the other reasons I missed my friends when I was in Russia. I had to turn to my brother to help me when I got angry, and that man mostly left me fucked up as shit afterwards. That mostly served as a reminder not to get angry.

I was panting by the time we were over. Laying on my back I watched the white-ish ceiling with bright white lights. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Shuffling could be heard from my side and moments after Zane sat next to me, taking of the black arm wraps.