I finally get the all clear leave the hospital, although I have to return home to England. This is because I need to have my wound frequently re-dressed. I will feel more comfortable returning to England. I was only visiting Alex while he is on tour. Alex is annoyed at me for going home, but it's for the best. I think that a little break from each other, will do us a world of good. We both need time to clear our heads for a while. I get my belongings from the tour bus, and make my way to the airport.
I wave Miles goodbye, tears rolling down my cheeks. But why? It wasn't like me and Miles were breaking up, or anything. But something just didn't seem right. I'm so worried about him, and i can't wait until the tour is done. I stand at the airport still waving him off, long after the aeroplane has set off. Miles is far away up in the sky wounded, hurt and annoyed. Miles told me that he'll be going back to his old flat in Liverpool, so I know where to find him.
The whole plane journey is a bore, my chest is uncomfortable the latest dose of tablets obviously wearing off. I look around at the people in the plane, who all seem to have partners or someone to talk to. I sigh. I could use a good drink or cigarette right now, but I can't mix that with my medication. I look out of the window and think of how far away Alex is from me right now. How deep I'm in with Alex actually scares me, even if I don't show it. I love the man so much it hurts. Should it hurt?
I get a taxi back to the tour bus, I'm in a shit mood to be honest. I get back to the tour bus, just in time for it setting off again. I climb in and go straight to my room. None of the lads ask me any questions, and I'm too knackered to explain what happened last night. They probably thought me and Miles had gone off to shag, and that's the reason why we weren't back at the tour bus. But how wrong they are, because in actual fact I spend half the night, hoping Miles wouldn't die on me. Then Miles left back to England, now I'm alone again.
I made it back to my flat about 45 minutes ago. It's just about daytime still, so I call my local hospital and explain my situation. They say that I have to go tomorrow, so they can examine my wound themselves. It's going to be a long few weeks until Alex returns. How am I going to fill my time?
Each night I give my best performance, and i dedicate most songs to Miles. I even dare to perform a tlsp song on the last date of the tour, that was brave and not the same without Miles. Of corse it wasn't the same without Miles though, eating, talking and even breathing without Miles beside me, isn't the same. The tour is over, I'm going back to England, back home to the comfort of Miles. Don't get me wrong it would be a lie if I said I didn't enjoy the tour, because I did. Like every Arctic Monkeys tour there isn't almost ever a dull moment, and the lads have been really good in distracting me from the fact, I'm a million miles away from Miles. But soon I am going be home in the comfort of his arms, his scent wrapping around me. All the way back on the plane I dream of Miles, not in a possive horrible manner, but rather a comforting and caring one. I would be able to take care of him, and his wounds.
I am coping at least as best as I can. Alex hasn't been in touch that often, but I know what tour life can get like.
I step off the plane into the crisp cold air of England, some might say I'm loopy to think that England is the best country in the world, but it's the truth! Honestly, it's produced many amazing bands and musicians over the years. I love it so much and I've missed it! I depart from the others, say goodbye and hold my glance longer over Matt. His bruises have pretty much faded now, but he's been scarred mentally for life. He looks into my eyes and knows what I'm thinking, that's what happens when you've been best mates with someone for so long. He comes over to me and hugs me close like so many times I've been in his embrace, it was the one of friendship and trust. Despite all the recent events, I knew I am, and always will be safe in Matt's arms "I'm not mad with Miles don't worry Alex". And with that he leaves off to his own family, as do all the others. I call my mam to tell her the news that we've landed back home. After a million questions (she still fusses over me like I'm 2) she is happy to hear me say, when Miles is strong enough I will bring him home to see her. For know, I'm going to stay with Miles, until he gets better.
Fuck my head... man a sharp pain in my... chest. Fuck Alex is coming today. I need to clean up, and get these girls out. Shit.
I happily hum along to a tune, as I travel in a taxi to Miles' place. I've been to his flat many times before, it's nice and not too fancy. I get out a little way down the street, I pay the driver and thank him. It's night by now, a big moon looms overhead. I breathe in the beautiful smells of England. The log fire smoke drifts through the air, a owl squeaks and a breeze is drifting around. I walk down the road to the block of flats. I walk inside then over to the lift, and lug my suitcase in. I press the number that will lead to Miles' floor, and wait. After the short journey in the elevator I witness a peculiar sight, about half a dozen girls are littered about the corridors in skimpy outfits. They're in a right state, and smell of sex and alcohol. My heart skips a beat, as I realise what's going on. Nevervously, I walk by the mostly unconscious girls, until I reach where Miles lives. I bite my lips in anticipation, to what I will find. My worries could be all wrong, but the feeling in my stomach tells me otherwise. After 2 minutes, Miles finally opens the door with an apologetic smile on his face. Clearly, he's highly intoxicated, you can tell by his eyes. Can he even be drunk on his medication? He has wrapped around him two drunk women. In his flat from what I can see, as he's blocking most it with his body in the doorframe, is in a state. I can see used condoms packets, and alcohol all around. And something else that annoys me more than ever, if that's possible, is faint music playimg. Not just any old music but Humbug, by Arctic Monkeys. How dare he fucking play my music, while he's doing this with all these women, does he have no dignity? I look at him with those women around his neck, and waist and eye him with disgust. I hear a few more inside calling him back in. We haven't spoken yet, but we don't need to. I run as fast as I can, suitcase forgotten, out of the block of flats. He might of called me back, he might not of who knows? I lean against the outside of the block of flats, and shakily grab a cigarette. I light it up and inhale. I finish it, well that was enough time for Miles to come chasing after me, I guess that isn't going to happen what a fool I am. How could I be so stupid to think that Miles Kane would wait for me to come back off tour? Of corse he wouldn't.
