I Never Want to Lose My Best Friend

I'm Afraid I've Thrown It All Away

I guess i had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor. I got up and looked at my self in the mirror. Wow, i really was a fucking mess. I shrugged, washed off my face, then unlocked the bathroom door.

I creeped into the living room trying to be as quiet as i could. I grabbed my jacket and keys, as i dashed out the front door. I drove to the hospital. I walked in, heading straight for Vic's room and was shocked to find Vic laying there asleep.

Glad someone told me he was alright... I curled up next to him and waited for my best friend to wake up.

"Vic, please wake up... please. I need you right now. I did something awful. I hurt Jaime... i feel so horrible for it... just completely fucking disgusted with myself for what I've done. I was drunk and didn't even know what i was doing. Same with Mike, but it still wasn't right of me. God i fucking miss him so much. I deserved getting elbowed in the nose and getting called a whore. I deserved it all... but he didn't deserve to get hurt by my stupid actions. I just care about him so fucking much... Even if i never get him back as my boyfriend... i still want to call him a friend. What am i even saying... He'll never trust me again. Hell, i don't blame him. I wouldn't trust me either..."

I texted Tony, because I wanted to know why he fucking told Jaime about the incident that happened earlier.

To Tony: 'What the hell Tony?! I thought you were my best friend! Why would you tell Jaime what accrued between Mike and i last night...?' Shortly after I sent the message, he texted back.

From Tony: 'I didn't tell him, ok? I was messing with you guys to begin with. I wasn't going to tell him, because you both are my best friends and, as much as I thought Jaime should know, it wasn't my business to tell him. Mike told him... I'm sorry about what happens though... What Jaime said... You really didn't deserve that.'

Why would Mike tell him...

To Tony: 'Im sorry for flipping out Tone... Do-Do you know why he told him?'

From Tony: 'I have no clue why he told him. I guess he couldn't handle the guilt. I mean, I've never seen Jaime act like that before. He's always been calm and collective with situation that hurt him... With all his exs... his parents... everything. I'm really sorry about what happened Kas, but I'm going to sleep now, so I think you should sleep off what happened and think with a clear mind tomorrow, ok?'

To Tony: 'Ok, thank you Tony. Good night.'

I started sobbing softly into a pillow, until i heard shuffling behind me. Fuck. I completely forgot to see if anyone else was in here. I set up a little and looked towards the door to see a medium sized figure leaning against the wall. I smelled a very familiar scent. Jaime's cologne. I got up slowly, trudging towards him, then falling to my knees.

"Call me what you want, i deserve it. Mike isn't here to to defend me. Hit me, kick me, Slap me. I deserve all of it. I just hope one day you might call me a friend again, because i sure as hell know i love you... with all my heart. It's so cheesy and corny, i know, but it's the truth. I can't get you out of my mind. We haven't been dating very long either, but i thought we really hit it off even from the very start. There was just something about you i couldn't resist. Im very sorry for my actions Jaime, i really am. I hope you can forgive me someday." He helped me stand up, then wrapped his arms around me, kissing me roughly on the lips.

"I forgive you Kas, just promise me you won't let it ever happen again. ok? I love you too, you're all i want and need." We started kissing, then he pulled me over to a chair at the fair end of the room, away from Vic, he pulled the curtain between us closed so no one could see us.

I straddled his waist and started kissing down his neck. Soon i felt a bulge begin to form beneath me. I giggled at the fond memory of the taco incident we had a while back. He pushed me back some.

"Not here ok? We have touring to do next week, you need to practice and memorize the lyrics, while i need to prepare certain things, so lets check up on Vic one last time and see how he is doing, then go back home and continue or wait until another time, because honestly i really wanted to wait till the right moment, you know? When everything is just right." I nodded. We got up, checked up on Vic, then left and went home where we fell asleep in each others arms.