I Never Want to Lose My Best Friend

The First Time I've Seen Love

I ran after Tony, but those damn groupies got to him before i could even get close. I thought to my self, great fucking job Kas. I had a heavy and hurtful twinge in my chest. I walked to a small space behind one of the band merch stands. I balled up with my knees pulled to my chest. I was weeping, i just couldn't stop crying. Why... why was i feeling this way? I was very, deeply, lost in my emotions. Somehow Jamie found me. i didn't recognized him at first. He was wearing dark shades, a black hoodie, that he was not wearing earlier that day, he had the hood up and wasn't talking very loudly, so you could imagine i had a hard time hearing him over the other bands playing loud, thudding music, girls screaming, and people talking in general.

I sat on the ground just staring at him, with a disgusted, and confused look planted on my face. He shook his head after trying to explain something to me, so he grabbed my arm, yanking me up, cradling me, as he ran back the the bus, then setting me on the couch where i resumed crying. He set next to me and leaned forward placing his head in his palms. He looked as if something of great deal was troubling him. I continued to sob as i rapped my arm around him, he in returned, hugged me tightly back, not letting go.

My makeup was all fucked up. Smeared down my tear stained cheeks. I laid on the couch, balled up, and motionless as i drifted back and forth from conshesness and sleep. I heard Tony and Jamie's voice. They were arguing about something outside the bus, but i couldn't make out what they were saying. I felt someone sitting next to me at one point, brushing my hair out of my face, then getting up and leaving i assumed, because i heard the door open and slowly close afterwords.

Suddenly i woke up to Vic kneeling in front of me rubbing my shoulder. He whispered,

"Well Amigo, it's time for us to go. We're all packed up and ready." He didn't seem too happy about this news, but i knew it was my time to go. It was just a silly fantasy to think that i had a chance with a great and wonderful band member i barely knew. Vic started coughing abruptly. I quickly sat up and patted him on the back.

"Vic, are you ok? What's wrong?" I quickly questioned him. He acted as if it was nothing.

"No, I'm alright. You don't have to worry about me. I just have been smoking a little too much green with Mike, that's all! Oh, and uh, please don't tell anyone that... That'd be great. Thank you." He said out of breath.

" It's fine Vic, your secrets safe with me." I replied. He smiled sweetly. He then got up, walked to the front of the bus, and whispered something to the driver.

I stood up, stretching a little, and walked slowly to the door. As i opened it, Tony was right in front of me, staring me straight in the face, looking ghost pale. I tilted my head in a curious manner and said,

"Uh, is there something wrong?" Tony didn't say a word. He just stood there. Then he suddenly jumped towards me, putting me in a timid embrace. I tried to push him away, foolishly enough. It was already hard walking away from a wonderful dream like this, but him, embracing me as awkwardly as it was, it killed me to think i had a shot and i blew it like always.

"No Kasandra! You can't go! You just can't! Please! Don't leave..." Tony pleaded grasping both my arms tightly. Vic walked in to the living room type area charging over to us.

"Come on Tony! You know the rules! No spouse allowed on the bus while we're touring! It's distracting and will put us behind! You're better than that man." Vic scowled.

"I just can't let her go Vic! I can't! It'll kill me! I'll die if i let her one get away like Sophie did..."

The room went dead silent. Vic was glaring at Tony. Such a glare that i thought for a split moment he was going to tear Tony limb from limb. Vic eventually sighed in defeat. He said,

"Ok, fine. Only this once Tone! As soon as she distracts you from practice, or delays us shes gone! And she can't come with us when we go outta' the county on tour, no offense Kasandra, but we just really don't have the money. I'm very sorry."

I whispered," I can pay for my own ticket... I can have my auntie' wire me money to a bank, if i can go of course. I'll pay for my part."

Tony blurted in." No, I'll pay for you! You don't have to!"

"Then thats coming out of your own wallet Tony! Not the bands money!" Vic exclaimed.

Tony yelled for Jamie and Mike to come in the room still grasping my arms. They both walked cautiously towards us.

"Jamie would you help me pay for some things Kasandra might need? Please?" Tony pleaded.

"Uh, yeah, sure. I could pitch in a little." He happily agreed.

"And you Mike? Will you help?" Tony asked as Jamie and I looked at him with begging expressions.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt helping out here, and there." Mike answered.

We all turned to Vic. Tony looked at him with that painfully sad look again. Vic snapped,"Fine! Fine! I'll help too if it will get you to stop giving me that look!" Vic huffed, rolling his eyes, then walking back to the front of the bus. Tony embraced me again. This time much more confidently, as Jamie and Mike joined in on the hug fest.


//sorry this chapters so short..\\