Shut Up and Marry Me! (Complete)

Special Chapter 4: At Two Ends

I stared intently at the sketch of Nathan that I just made. Before I realised it, ginagawa ko na pala to. Ganto nalang lagi. Lagi ko nalang sya yung kinalalabasan ng mga sketch ko. Sya lang namin kasi lagi laman ng isip ko eh.

I traced the lines of his lips, as if they were the real thing. I can still remember the softness of them, the sweetness in them. Tapos pag ngingitian nya ako, lumilitaw yung dimples nya. And I'll think then that he's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. The way he moves, I can remember it. The way his eyes crinkle when he give me his smug smile; the look on his face when he tells me he loves me; the way he looks at me like I'm the only one he sees; everything.

Naalala ko pa nung unang beses kaming lumabas. It sucked. Haha. Like, he was so different from he's usual self. Kailangan ko pang ipaalala na dapat magpakatotoo sya. Tapos bigla syang tumakbo. Until now hindi ko parin alam bakit nya ako tinakbuhan. I guess I'll never have the chance to ask.

Nagulat nalang ako nung napansin kong tumutulo yung luha ko sa sketch pad ko. Before I can stop myself, I was crying. I was crying so hard that my paper got wet. I threw it on the floor in frustration. We had so many happy memories but it can't erase the fact that many painful things happened. Too painful that my heart just gave it all up.

Maybe because I'm pregnant and emotional unbalanced but I'm just such a cry baby. I have never been like this. Well, I have never been pregnant for so long before. I don't really know.

"You're crying again." Lumingon ako sa may pintuan at nakita ko si Sam na papalapit. "You should smile more often. It's been five months."

"I can't." I told him.

Pinulot ni Sam yung sketch pad ko at lumapit sa akin. Sam opened my sketch pad and flipped through the pages. "I have seen you draw him, Gianna. You were the happiest when you draw him. That's something."

"But they always end up hurting me."

"Whoever said you don't get hurt when you love? Minahal mo sya eh, Gianna. In fact, mahal mo pa sya. Mahal na mahal. Just look at this. You can never forget him. It's been years but all these drawings and details are so vivid. You remember him, every bit of him. That's why you should smile more."

I grimaced as I feel my chest tighten. "How can I smile when all I think of is him? They're just bad memories, Sam."

Naglakad papalapit si Sam habang hawak nya yung sketch pad ko. "No, they're not. Sure, there are some bad memories but, doesn't all the good memories make it worth it? That's just... life. Life isn't all about the good. It's also about the bad. After all, how do we appreciate something good without comparing it to something bad?"

Sam gently wiped the tears away from my face. Then, he took my hand and handed me my sketch pad. "If you can't forget him, then don't. Maybe he's supposed to stay there. It's up to you whether you choose to cry or smile."

I gripped my sketch pad. "It's hard to choose. I feel like I'm at two ends."

"You will always be at two ends. You will always feel sad and happy; love and hate; weak and strong. Always. It's up to you what end you will focus more. And knowing you, I know you'll choose the right end for you."

"Do you really think so?"

Sam nodded. "I know so." Then he smiled and touched my tummy. "Right, baby?"

"I hope so." I muttered. And at that moment, I felt something move inside me; surprising me.

Gulat akong tinignan ni Sam. "He kicked!"

I cracked a smile on what he said. "Yes, he did." And it happened again; my baby kicking.

"He likes your voice." Sam chuckled then started running his hand around my tummy gently.

Oddly, I liked the thought of what he said. "You think that it'll be a 'he'?"

Sam nodded. "Yep."

"Why?"

Sam looked straight into me and smiled. "Because he'll want to protect you."

After so many months, I smiled.

** 

Author's note:  

Okaaay. Dapat last week pa to pero buuuusy. Haha. Ok, first, a massive thank you to each and every one of you. So last week was the second anniversary of me posting Shut Up And Marry Me! and I couldn't have more grateful. To think na nagustuhan nyo ung sinulat ng 15 year old version ko, it was so heartwarming. Ang dami dami kong nakaclose and nakakwentuhan dahil dito. I was surprised, really. Haha.

To those who were praying, asking and hoping for a book, don't worry, hindi kayo nag-iisa! Haha. I mean, sino bang writer ang ayaw mapublish ang book, right? That's why I'm so thankful to those who were sharing this story to others. I really, truly appreciate the effort, especially now that I can't really face that task due to school. But, hey. God have His own time. Let's just trust him, ok? Haha.

A massive thank you to those who put so much effort on commenting, sorry hindi ko nasasagot minsan. Hindi ko kasi nakikita. You should just PM me. Haha. And dun sa mga nagPM! Thank you sa mga nagmemessage sakin. I appreciate the effort. Sa lahat ng effort na bigay nyo, khit ano pa yan, thank you. It wouldn't be like this without you. Remember that. Every single one of you is as important as the story writer because without you, none if this will be like this.

Have a happy Christmas and wonderful New Year. :) ❤

-- Nhice

PS. New cover! Hope ypu guys liked it. haha