What Is Love?

Chapter 39

~Nia P.O.V~
I've been in the hospital for a couple of days and today I get released. I was so glad to leave because I didn't really like hospitals.

After I got released Lucas held Neveah as we walked to his car. He strapped her in and I got in the backseat with her.

All her stuff was at the mansion until I move out which will be soon.

The whole ride there it was silent and it gave me time to think. I can't believe I've actually went through with my pregnancy. At the same time I feel like I failed because I dropped out of school when I could have took online classes.

Once we arrived at the mansion Lucas got Neveah out and I'm thankful for him because he not a deadbeat. He's actually supportive even when I didn't want him to.

A few hours later...

After taking care of Neveah today with the help of Lucas she was finally sleep in her room. Me and Lucas was in my room and it was the perfect time to ask him about that kiss.

"Why did you kiss me that night? Like what did it mean?"

"Don't you miss us being together?"

"Yes and even though we both hurt each other it's like I can't get enough. I mean you feel the same, right?"

"I'm with Jade and I don'-

"I shouldn't have even said that just act like I never said that"

Here I was getting embarrassed again. Maybe I should just stop thinking things. It's clearly he doesn't feel the same way about me. It really hurts though. 

"Nia"

"Huh?"

"You okay?"

"Y-yea"

The truth was I wasn't okay. It felt like I just got my heart ripped out. That feeling when  you thought you could make it work but you realize you can't. 

That feeling when you want to be with someone but they have someone else. But you really don't want them with nobody else and you just gotta be happy for them. In reality you don't wanna be happy for them because it suppose to be you.

All this was going through my head and now I was letting it all out on my pillow.

"Okay something is wrong with you and I can tell. Why you crying?" Lucas asked as he picked my head up from window.

"Nothing" I said looking down.

"So you not gone tell me? You just gone look at the floor?"

"You got my heart Lucas and I don't think anyone else can have it. When you kissed me that's when it brought back so many memories. Then you say you with someone else. Do you know how bad that hurts? To find out the person you wanna be with have someone else"

"Stop crying and just because I'm with someone else that doesn't mean it's gone last. We never know what the future holds. Just know Nia I got you no matter what"

He's right but I shouldn't have to sit here and wait. What if it never happens? What if they stay together forever? Then I'll just be the baby mother who still want to be with the father of her child.

"Why you just can't be with me? Why you had to choose her over me?"

"I don't know if I can answer that question" He said looking the other way.