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Chapter 53: Maya

I push myself through the rain. I want to go away, leave. I don't want to go home and school is just a constant reminder of Cale and as much as my thoughts are completely preoccupied by him, I don't want to have his face seeming to appear every corner I turn.

"Maya!" I hear Gigi call and I ignore it. I want to be alone. I want to die.

"Maya!" She tries again catching sight of me.

I just continue running through the rain. I don't care that my bag is getting wet or that my clothes are soaked and are heavy. I just don't care. She catches up to me and wraps her arms around me as we come to a stop. I shake myself away from her before pushing her away lightly.

"You knew and you didn't say anything! It's not like you can always protect me Gigi! Blinding me from the truth doesn't resolve anything!" I yell at her, purposefully failing to face her.

I don't want to see her. I don't want my anger to falter and I know well that I can't stay mad at Gigi once I see how apologetical she looks. But not today. Not now. I want to be left alone. I want to be able to think.

"Go back to school." I order her but she doesn't move. "Gigi!"

"Maya..." She starts before I cut her again.

"Gigi!"

"I'm sorry." She says, still refusing to move.

I start running off again. The throbbing pain is still very much alive and I can't help but want to make it fade but it simply won't and I find myself getting more and more frustrated as I continue running through the rain, my eyes barely seeing what's in front of me. I continue running until I feel like I'm not even running anymore. My legs are simply carrying me and I'm a passenger. I can't help it. The tight pressure on my heart which seems to only grow narrower and narrower and I wonder, when will it explode? When is the pain too much and I can't take it anymore? Darren left me, my mother doesn't even love me and the one guy I let get close to my heart shattered it with a grenade that took me by surprise.

Why don't I just disappear?

Make everything better?

Take away the pain?

I cross the road until I hear a loud horn go off and I turn to see a car arriving at full speed at me.

"MAYA!!!" I hear Gigi yell in the background.

But it's too late, too fast for her to do anything. He probably pulls on his breaks but the water makes the car continue, sliding forward towards me.

Until bam.

Then nothing.

Just darkness.

And the pain is gone.

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Song: Zach Hemsey - The Way (Instrumental)