Flicker | ✔️

Chapter 56: Gigi

I still feel my heart beat so fast because of the shock of everything. I barely even care anymore that Cale has discovered the secret I had spent years desperately trying to bury. I mean, who knew Maya would finally find someone she would love? Who knew that they would be close to going out, that they would kiss? My heart squeezes as I picture it in my mind; Cale's lips pressed against her own as he combs a hand through her hair. I shiver. No, that's not what I want.

But what can I do?

She doesn't know of my feelings for her, of my internal struggle as I desperately tried to replace my feelings for her with men who could possibly fill that void. She was a done deal, the girl who would never belong to anyone, the girl too focused on her studies and her family problems to even dare speak the word love and yet there Maya was, slowly but surely drifting away from me and my heart.

She's gonna leave me behind.

Without a word, without a thought, she'll never know of my feelings, of the way I see her, of the way I feel safe in her arms and hers alone, the way I dream of our lips connecting the same way they did with Cale, of her reciprocating my feelings for her. Yet, the truth is she is honeysuckle, sugar and roses to me, but to her, I am nothing at all. Just a friend. Just a best friend.

She doesn't know. She doesn't know how shocked I was when she stood up for me when I was labelled a slut and a whore by everyone else. She would never know the shock on my face as she did so. After all, I was hated, I was always looked at with contempt, yet there she stood, yelling with anger at the girls who thought slut-shaming me was fun. I wasn't even scared of them, or unable to speak for myself. I just thought ignoring the problem would make it go away. But Maya stood in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest, her white hair magnificent and her glare prominent and powerful.

Why?

What was I to her back then? She didn't even know me. She was class president back then and we never even held a conversation past "What's for homework?"

She didn't know of my struggles as I battled against the growing thought that maybe I was different? Maybe I do like girls instead of guys? So I tried getting rid of those thoughts by making out with any guy I could. I had to convince myself that I wasn't lesbian, that I did like guys. But then she came along surprising my heart and my life and that was it: I was in love.

"Mary?" I hear from behind all of us. I sit up from my seat as quickly as possible as I stare at the doctor making his way towards us.

"Yes, Dr. Anderson?" Mary exclaims also getting up in her turn.

"Maya is out of surgery, we tried really hard but we don't know yet what the outcome may be. Because of the rain, the car couldn't break in time and the speed at which he hit was rather significant so now all we can do is wait until she wakes up. She might be out for a while, we're still unsure of the time of her awakening."

There is a pause, Mary looking down at her hands, Harvey putting his phone back in his pocket and Cale simply staring at the doctor in disbelief.

"So what are you sure of?" I demand, finally breaking the silence. Everyone turns to look at me but I remain strong as I face them.

"She will survive if everything goes smoothly."

Cale and I sigh in relief before the doctor starts to talk again.

"I will be leaving now but I'll come back to notify you when she's awake, in the meantime you may go get food and rest."