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Chapter 16: Maya

Edited

I get back to class, sitting at the desk next to where Cale should be, but he isn't. Class goes on but he never comes. At lunch I bring Gigi her food, as promised and she thanks me immensely for it and said she thinks she'll be fine for the afternoon but I never spot Cale again and although I normally enjoy going to class, I can't help but worry and go back to thinking about him.

"Maya? Are you listening?"

I tilt my head up.

"What?"

"Geez Maya! This is the second time I'm explaining and you just drift off." Gigi complains, her eyebrows tightly pulled together .

"Sorry, go ahead." I say gesturing her to go on.

She sighs, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"He told me he'll take me to the end of year dance because he can't get enough of me and honestly I don't mean to show off but he's the absolute best!" She squeals finding again her usual enthusiasm.

My mind slowly goes back to that conversation with the nurse. I keep ruminating what it could be about but I never seem to understand. Cale must have a brother in primary. That I understand but why is he talking about bringing him away with him to uni? How could he possibly manage living with his brother when he'll be in college. College isn't even a proper environment to be in for a young boy. But mostly I feel upset that I learned all of this new information in this manner. I guess I wish he would've told me himself, but I guess that's too much to ask for considering his mistrust in women. 

But then why open up to the nurse?

Gigi stops to give me a hopeful look.

"What's wrong? You've been quiet for some time. I mean you're often pretty quiet but you've been more quiet than usual..."

"I think Gael is a great guy for you. Sorry Gigi, but I have to go somewhere." I say ignoring her question. Gigi doesn't need to worry about me, I can do that on my own.

"Will you still be sleeping over tonight then?" She tries again, slight pain in her voice.

"No... Sorry... I just need time to think right now. My brain is kind of fuzzy and I need to clear things out."

"Ok. I won't lie and say I'm thrilled you're abandoning me but I do love and respect your little ass even if you decide to go to hell. So yes you may bail on your incredibly nice best friend who feels terribly lonely in your absence!" She says smiling at me so I know she's joking.

"That's why I love you." I say, bringing her in for a hug.

"Bye, Maya." She whispers, her lips pursing slightly longer than they normally do and her eyes shining a little brighter with something I can't quite place. Her face is neutral and that would be okay if it were any other person but it's Gigi, and Gigi doesn't act neutral, she stays eccentric.

"Bye, Gigi," I reply, and just before I turn away I catch a glimpse of her lips turning downwards and I hesitate to look back again, but how can I cheer her up when I myself am feeling low? Maybe I'm selfish.

Right now I need to be in my place. It's not anything too grand or prestigious like anything my mom has ever shown me but it looks beautiful at night. I start jogging until I go into a full sprint. My bag is already at my house and my phone is in my hand. I need to get there. The one place where I feel utterly and completely at ease. The one place where I can completely let everything out. All emotions that may have been bottled up would spill out everywhere at this one place.

The night is growing dark, just as I want it to, and I find myself racing up the hill to get there. I stop at the top, bending over and placing my hands on my knees to breathe more easily. As I get back up, I continue walking the last few steps until I arrive at my bench. I sit down and look at the view before me. Absolutely stunning. Up here, I feel free, far away from everything, far away from reality, like I'm simply witnessing life unroll itself, just as God would, or a peacefully pleasant tree in a park. Just passively seeing life unfold and unwind into a beautiful yet calm mess.

I bring my knees to my chest as I stare at the buildings slowly light up, one by one. I place my head down on my knees as I continue to look at the city illuminated. While everything here is dark, everything there is colourful. The sun is setting and all the colours are mixing in the sky as if someone foolishly mixed paint on a canvas.

A few roads down I see the figure of a person. Instantly I recognize him. It's Cale. It has to be.  I walk cautiously to the rail to look more closely, afraid of what I might find. I look down recognizing his dark brown hair which is styled in its usual coif.

I want to call out to him as a smile starts to appear on my face. I will get to see him after all. I prepare myself to yell out his name when my smile slowly disappears at the realization of why he's out here. A girl. He's meeting a girl. The girl there who seems to have popped from nowhere is there with a smile similar to mine a few seconds ago.

What is he doing? Who is she? And mostly...

Why?

I want to go down to get a better look at her, but I can tell from this distance that she's pretty. All her features grace her face and her long blonde hair looks golden in this lighting. She has a good sense of fashion too. At this precise moment, I'm not sure why, but I just wished she would just rot in front of him, and I scare myself with the thought. Who have I become to wish something bad on somebody I haven't even met? But this great big pit in my stomach isn't leaving and I don't like it.

I can't explain the feeling I got as Cale went in to hug her. My eyes pricked suddenly before I could even think and before I know it tears roll down my cheeks.

Who is she? Why am I crying? Why do I care?

Is it because I know she's special to him? After all, she is a girl and Cale says he hates all girls yet I've been seeing him talk to two other than me today and it makes me nervous.

I go back to where the bench is. Since they're no longer in my sight, I thought it would make me feel better but I just feel worse. The ever-growing void in my heart makes me feel empty and cold. My heart aches and I struggle to even out my breathing.

And I thought Cale might just want to see me too. How terribly wrong I was.

~~~

Hey guys!

So for the first time, Maya has started to feel something she never really felt before. The fact that she saw him with another girl did make her feel some way but she doesn't really know how to interpret that.

Does she have feelings for Cale beyond friendship?

Does she simply care a lot about him?

I want to know your input on the matter.