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Chapter 64: Maya

My old self is in bed, sleeping as I watch her, knowing that in a few mere moments her life will turn upside down. Her greatest love shall end abruptly.

"Maya!" I hear my mother shriek in horror.

That's when her eyes open, an alarming light in her eyes.

It's begun.

The last thing she should do is go downstairs but of course, she still does, unaware of the horrifying sight that will taint her eyes forever. She went quickly down the stairs and I followed. Her eyes lay on the body on the floor. Her father's. My father's. Dad. After about a second or so, Darren makes his way down as he sees my mother in tears, crying to herself, sobbing as she calls for the ambulance and me, the numb girl still staring at her father, unable to believe the sight before her although it was real.

I feel my heartstrings tug pitilessly and I crouch in a ball, my eyes watering once again. The old me was so shocked, too shocked to even react. But for me, the sight of my happy father and the reliving of this moment is too much for me. The tears hit the floor, forming a small puddle as the tears just fibd themselves unable to stop,

It isn't long for the ambulance to arrive but it feels too long, like if they came earlier he would've still made it. It's only later as I grew older that I realized he was long gone anyways. By the time my mother found him, his heart had stopped beating for already 3 minutes. He was dead whether I like it or not. It wasn't for to control. And it still isn't. I can't do anything. The past is the past. It doesn't change, doesn't alter. It simply is.

My younger version goes back up to her room after Darren averts her eyes hastily, himself unable to look at our dad's rigid body. She stands in front of the mirror her eyes still wide from the shock. Until the reality settles in.

He's gone. Her eyes start to water and then turn to streams that pour down her face which meet at her chin and then fall to the floor. She isn't sobbing. Simply crying. Her silent tears pass unnoticed to all but herself, me. Her shock only becomes bigger as she sees herself cry in the mirror. She brings a hand to her face, lightly pinching her cheek to make sure everything is real.

At that point, I hadn't cried for years. Crying was seen as a weakness, a bother and an annoyance to my father. When I cried, I wasn't a good girl, and daddy only liked good girls who behaved like they should.

"I have to be good. I have to be good. I have to be good." She mumbles endlessly and hurriedly under her breath, her voice slightly breaking because of the tears. "I have to be good."

That's when she melted down. She pressed forward, placing her hands on the cold surface of the stone sink, leaning her head down to stare at the floor as she finally started sobbing. She then lifts her head in an abrupt movement as I watch her with sadness, remembering what I am about to do. She looks around hurriedly, her hands itching for something damaging to do.

She grabs hold of scissors and looks at herself. Her deliberation isn't too long as she grabs hold of her hair and cuts it off. Everything comes off. Everything until her ears, cutting off the baby hairs around her neck. She stares at herself in the mirror, tears resurfacing once again as she remembers her father is gone forever. Dad is gone.

"Everything's alright. Everything will be okay. It'll hurt but it'll be okay." I whisper to her, hugging her from behind.

"Who's there?" She asks softly in between sobs, turning left and right to look around.

And my heart freezes.

What?