Birthday Scenarios

Zelda.

Month:
1: Ruto
2: Fledge
3: Vio
4: Link
5: Pipit
6: Vaati
7: Mido
8: Din
9: Sheik
10: Ghirahim
11: Majora
12: Navi

Day:
1: Ate you
2: Murdered you
3: Danced naked with you
4: Got in a fight with you
5: Became the boss of you
6: Hugged you
7: Is bound to life with you
8: Is actually your sibling
9: Trolled you
10: Gave you soup
11: Rescued you from Ganondorf
12: Bought you a new house
13: Gave you a horse
14: Went swimming with you
15: Sat by you at lunch
16: Smacked Zelda across the face
17: Actually spoke to you of all people
18: Asked you on a date
19: Gave you the Triforce
20: Wrote you a poem
21: Violated you
22: Bought you a puzzle
23: Invited you to their house
24: Baked you a cake
25: Gave you a kiss on the cheek
26: Got drunk with you
27: Switched lives with you
28: Flirted with you
29: Is now in your class
30: Is stalking you
31: Hates your guts

Favorite Zelda item out of these:
Master Sword: Because you said 'Hey, Listen!'
Hylian Shield: Because they were high.
Boomerang: Because you killed the Great Deku Tree.
Hero's Bow: Because you slapped Link's grandma.
Bomb: Because you kissed them.
Rod of Seasons: Because you're secretly working for Dark Link.
Bottle: Because they hate your friends.
Goddess's Harp: Because they felt like it.