Guilt (Shizuo X Izaya)

Chapter 8: Epiphany

Izaya POV

Nothing feels right.

It's as if the entire world had turned into jello, and I the fruit in the center. It was dark- I'm not sure where I am, but it looks familiar; a place I had been a long time ago. A place that was supposed to be my safe haven but now gives off a feeling of dread. My world clears up and I begin to comprehend my surroundings.

My room looks alive again. Books are scattered on my unmade bed and the window beside it open, cool air flowing through it almost too quickly, like the entire room was speeding through space. I still can't move but I feel the ground below me, soft and stiff.

Thumping erupts behind me.

Turning I see a face.

My face as a child.

My face.

I- the child- runs into the room and throws himself onto the bed, sobbing hysterically, and I remember this.

"Hey," a voice behind me says through the door.

The young me lifts his head, trembling. I wince at my face, contorted with pain and sadness and the knowledge of what I had done next.

"Hey yourself," the young me responds.

Yes, that's it. That's my talent; I'm proud of myself. Sobbing my eyes out and I sound like a normal happy little kid. I couldn't be happier than this. Or rather, I shouldn't be happier with this.

"I saw your report card. Beautiful as always."

"Thanks mom."

Footsteps fade away from the door and my attention is directed to the young me once again, forcing a smile before turning his face back to the bed and softly continues his sobbing.

This isn't me anymore.

I try and step towards the kid but my body still refuses to listen. I can't feel myself; I can't feel anything around me but the roaring of the air through the window and the sobbing child in front of me.

This has to be a dream.

Why can't I wake up?

The urge for company strengthens; for someone to be with me and comfort me and help me. But there's no one.

No one.

There is though...there is someone. I don't remember who- but there's someone that I yearn to be accepted by. I need their comfort and heat and warmth, and their passion. I need their passion.

I need to find them.