Guilt (Shizuo X Izaya)

Chapter 21: The Circles

Hello, it's Arikesona!! Sorry I haven't updated very constantly. Things for my exchange trip abroad are pretty stressful right now and we just had testing and exams 😶 So I'm about to wrap up Guilt and soon I'll start another fanfiction because I love writing so much (haha). Please let me know if there's a specific ship you want because if not I might just run out of ideas !!
Thanks for reading 💚

Izaya POV

The darkness continues a bit farther. My feet almost feel disconnected from my body and my legs are weak. I taste iron.

Then, the light blinds me. We're in a bright white room; different from the dark cellar I was in before. I see scientists in white lab coats staring at me with anticipation and excitement. I feel a bit of frustration; I am not an animal in a zoo.

Then I spot him.

There's a man in front of me, familiar blond hair, shaggy and messy. He wears only a white dress shirt and black pants. His signature black bartender's vest and tinted glasses are nowhere to be found. Still, I know him.

I feel the immediate urge to lunge at him. It's a violent feeling, intense and exhausting. Mura holds me back before I even comprehend that I'm already clawing for Shizuo. I need him. I don't know why but I'm angry. But I need him.

"Let him go," a woman I hadn't registered says from behind Shizuo. Yes, let me go. I have to get to him.

Abruptly, Mura releases me and as soon as I feel his fingers off of my arms, I'm already in front of Shizuo. He lunges backwards, avoiding my every touch.

Come here.

"Tell me how to fix him," I hear Shizuo yelling at no one in particular. "What happened to him?!"

"It's still in development," the woman smiles. "So there's no cure yet, unfortunately. Just imagine- with a bit more experimenting, this could sell like wildfire."

"No one would want this!" Shizuo yells.

"On the contrary," she replies. "There are many people who would want this because it isn't simply existing for aggression. This crumbles the mind, you could say. Imagine how many dangerous people could be stopped for the benefit of the public. The mad, cocky genius we once knew Izaya Orihara to be is gone now. His emotions are scattered and amplified and are now projected at you."

I lunge at him again, pulling out my switchblade and aim for his chest. He jumps backwards, still focused on the woman.

"You still haven't told me why you involved me in this," he says short breathed.

"Did you forget? You're the one that followed him. We never asked you to chase him down."

Shizuo stops. He looks dazed for a second before looking at me and blinking. It appears as if something inside this monster's head has clicked.

I'm still kicking at him. When my attempts of stabbing him don't work I abandon my blade and stick to using my body, pummeling him with my knees and elbows every chance I get. Shizuo doesn't respond to the woman after her last statement. Instead, he eyes me, golden brown eyes shimmering from the reflection of the pure white walls. He's still and for a moment I feel inclined to do the same. But my instincts kick in and I propel myself at his legs.

To my surprise, he doesn't get out of the way. Shizuo let's me crash right into him, sending us both flying backwards and almost slamming into the woman in red if she hadn't jumped away at the last second. We make contact with a few shelves of glass beakers and the wall, shattering most of the fragile containers.

"Are you happy?" Shizuo says to me as I try and register what had just happened. "What are you gonna do now?"

I raise my fist but Shizuo catches my wrist with a speed that wasn't there before. He wears a solemn expression, almost like he'd been drained of all hope. I lift my other fist but Shizuo pins me down again with all of his strength and for some reason I don't make an effort to fight it. His arms are trembling.

"This has to end one way or another," the woman says. "Izaya won't stop at you unless he's killed."

Shizuo ignores her this time, staring me straight in the eyes. His gaze hurts me; it's unrecognizable, but this feeling grows warms in my chest and travels down to my stomach and my arms, sending a tingle to my fingertips. Like all of my my weakness has poured right from my nails. My breathing steadies.

"Shizu-chan," I manage. "Get off me."

No one speaks. Slow as molasses, Shizuo loosens his grip on my wrists. I pull away. Neither Shizuo or I break eye contact. The air is still as he leans over me intently, obviously not sure of what to make of the situation.

"What you were saying," I stutter. "Back in Ikebukuro before I was....before all this happened. What did you mean by-"

My sentence is cut off as Shizuo pulls me into a hug. It takes me a moment before I can wrap my arms around his firm body; throughout our high school years and after that, we've never touched each other so gently, much less hugged. We're caught up in the moment, just the two of us close, breathing in the scent of blood and sweat and the familiar smell of each others clothes.

Then, a fiery pain stings into my upper back, hot at first, then searing. My entire body goes stiff as I feel a blade slicing through my skin effortlessly. I can't even bring myself to turn around and see who it is.

Shizuo, on the other hand, stares forward with shock.

"What are you- Why-" he shudders. "What have you done?"

I slump forward into Shizuo's lap as he holds me, warm blood oozing down my back and soaking into my dark shirt. I see a crimson red staining the pale white of my enemy's shirt before my vision goes hazy.

"It had to be done," a voice I despised said smoothly. "You heard my sister. One way or another, two circles can't fit into one equally-sized square."