Guilt (Shizuo X Izaya)

Chapter 17: The Next Step

Shizuo POV

Celty takes me back to Shinra's apartment as soon as I regain my senses. I lean backwards, resting my hands on the edge of the seat and tip my head backwards and stare up at the darkness. Clouds lay in a blanket across the sky, creating ripples and swirls that cover up the moon. Numerous times before, Celty had panicked upon seeing me like that and quickly pulled me forward, warning me that I could fall and hurt myself. I knew, but I did it anyway. Clutching on to the dullahan's waist like a cowardly little baby didn't suit to my tastes. Besides, I've been through a lot worse than falling off of a motorcycle and Celty eventually noticed as well.

The bike comes to a gradual stop and pulls to the side of the road.

"Thanks Celty," I manage.

If you need help with anything else please contact me.

"Yeah."

•••

Shinra is already waiting inside when I enter, sitting morbidly on the couch with a single light glowing in a weak lamp beside him. He's staring intently at the bottom of the wall opposite from him when he notices me leaning against the doorframe.

"You're back!"

He gets up frantically, taking minimal note of the blood stains on my clothes, and tackles me in a bear hug.

"Tell me everything that happened."

I do. It doesn't seem like I have the mindset for it but for some reason all of the information and details that occurred just a few hours ago were spilling out of my head like a waterfall. I must've been rambling because Shinra begins nodding.

"You need to think of something to find Izaya," Shinra said. "I'm sure he'll be fine but if what you told me about his animal-like behavior is what I think it is, then I don't think you'll have an easy time fixing him if you do managed to get him."

I mumble in response with no meaning in particular. I noticed it too, dense as some people thought I could be. Izaya wasn't normal.

"You might want to rest up, Shizuo. You're covered in blood."

He's right; I look awful.

"Take a shower. Alright? Look at me," Shinra says, grabbing me by the shoulders. He sounds genuinely concerned, not like he usually is, bombarding all seriousness with a giddy smile. "Heavens, are you okay?"

I don't feel anything right now. Sitting in the cold for half an hour, fighting for two hours, and losing in the end took a toll on me. I pull away from Shinra's grip and head to the bathroom down the hall.

Catching a glance of myself in the reflection, I lurch backwards. I knew that I was covered in blood, but I didn't see the deep, dark bags under my eyes or the pale milkiness of my tired skin. The bartender suit that my brother had bought me was torn at the shoulder and the waist.

"Where do I go from here," I mutter to myself.

I can't just sit here doing nothing.

Forgetting about my physical appearance, I locate Shinra's office a few doors down the hallway and rip open his filing cabinet full of crisp manila folders. Part of me senses Shinra and Celty behind me, waving their arms frantically trying to get me to stop, but I'm desperate. I look for a familiar face through the files, anything that could help.

"Shizuo, those are- I mean, you can't-"

My eyes fall onto a photo of a smaller framed guy, maybe a bit younger than me, with blond hair and blue eyes. I recognize him as the small guard who charged me pathetically in the hotel.

"Shinra, who's this." I ask, holding up the photo. "Why did he come here?"

"You know it isn't my place to tell you anything about the people in those files. I did it once and even then it was risky. I can't do it again."

"You have to," I push. "He could lead to something to find-"

"I know," he interrupts. "I know. But this isn't like you Shizuo, you need to calm down. I know that isn't exactly your specialty but we can't do anything with you acting like a lunatic!"

Silence follows his words. I know he's right; my temper is blocking my mind.

"I still don't understand why Izaya has you this concerned," he continues. "But if you're really so set on saving him, then I can go out somewhere with Celty, have a nice long dinner, and pretend I never saw you. All the information I know about that guy is in his files."

"Thank you, Shinra."

With a wink, he links arms with Celty, who still seemed a bit stuck with the situation, and leads her out of the apartment.

Name: Tomek Yvvon
Age: 18
Ethnicity: German
Current Location: Tokyo
Occupation: Assassin in training
Bullet wound to the leg and shoulder

Tokyo

Remembering Shinra's words, I gently place the paper back in the folder and do my best to fit it into cabinet, now a crushed piece of metal. I flinch apologetically after observing my handiwork and rush out of the tattered apartment for Tokyo.