Healing With Love (BxB/mpreg) [Hiatus]

Chapter One: Moving to California

Guys!!! Yes, I'm really happy for Winter Break, soo...Chapter One is now posted! I'm thinking of posting Chapter Two for Christmas and start again on New Year's. Yah? Nah? What do you guys think?

Dhairya's P.O.V.

I hit the bed with a whimper and quickly covered my mouth. I had promised my dad that I wouldn't use my voice anymore, so that means that I shouldn't talk anymore, right? That would be breaking a promises, and I hate breaking promises and the people who break the promises. After all, if you are going to break it, why make it?

A loud band sounded at door, quickly shaking me out of my thoughts.

"Quiet in there, you monster!"

That's right. That's all I am. I am a monster, aren't I? Just a big, mean monster...
-------------------------------------------------------

I woke up with a start, panting. It had been so long since I had that nightmare. I looked at the clock beside me and saw that it was only 3: 21 a.m. When had I drifted off? I remember seeing that the clock at 1, so I had around 2 hours of sleep. That's not too shabby if I do say so myself.

Since I'm already up and I have to make breakfast for my dad before he wakes up if I want to eat, I might as well start now. I feel a French Toast day coming on. I quietly walked to the restroom to release my bladder and brush my teeth.

After finishing my business, I went down to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. I grabbed some eggs, milk, and bread before opening some cabinets to get the cinnamon, a pan, and a container big enough to dip bread in. I quickly cracked in all the eggs and poured in some milk, mixing them together before adding in the cinnamon.

After waiting a few minutes for the mixture to set in, I dipped the bread in and pulled it out and placed in a buttered pan, sprinkling on some sugar. I waited for that side to toast before flipping it, adding some more sugar and toasting the other side, too. I fried the rest of the slices and took one slice for me and placing the rest on a plate for my father to eat when he woke up.

I quickly finished the bread, knowing that was all I was most likely going get for that day before scurrying back up the stairs to try and make it to my safe haven before getting caught.

Now normally, I would have made it up peacefully, without bumping into anybody, but today, fate decided to test me. I ran into my dad running up the stairs and his face made me want to melt into a hole. He had such a disgusted look on it and I swallowed. I shouldn't have been cooking that long, but cooking made me feel a little invincible. Now that I'm not cooking anymore, the fear for my dad came back at full force.

"Did you make my breakfast, slut?"

I nodded my head.

"What about my coffee?"

I widened my eyes slightly and timidly shook my head.

"Then go make it, you screw-up!"

I scurried back down the stairs and began making his coffee, tears brimming in my eyes. Why did I always screw up? Why does my father still keep me? People would say that what he does to me is abuse, but I'm a waste of space. Something that nobody would miss. But, he kept me. I should be super grateful because no one else would ever want to take me in and keep me.

I quickly finished his coffee and brought it out for him, trembling slightly. I raced up to my room when he waved his hand to dismiss me. Once I was in my room, I opened my little closet full of my stuff and picked up the box labeled 'Art Supplies.'

I took out my big sketchbook, a few different types of pencils, and a tracing pen before digging to the very bottom of the box. Once I had found what I was looking for, I gave a small, victorious smile. I held the beautiful picture that I wanted to to draw. The one of my wonderful mom.

My mother...

The one that I had murdered...

I shook my head to clear myself of the horrible thoughts plaguing my mind. Just draw. Drawing would give me the same high as cooking did. They were two of the only things that I could do and liked doing. After all, what could I do without my dad forbidding me?

Lines after lines appeared on the page and soon the basic shape of my mother appeared on the page. I shaded over everything and accidentally spilled some ink onto my mother's face while tracing it. The ink spread across the page, turning the picture of a beautiful woman into something ghastly. I looked at the now ruined drawing and tears filled my eyes.

Ruined...

Just like me. Just like Dad. Like Mom. Like our smiles. Our hearts. They're all gone. No matter how much I want it back, I can't go to that time anymore and that hurts me so much. More than anything else.

The tears spilled over onto the paper, ruining it even more. I got out of the seat and dropped onto my bed, burying my face into my sheets, allowing the sobs to take over. Why did it hurt so much everytime I think of it?
It hurts...

Hurts so much.

My chest hurts so, so much...

Why? What did I ever do to deserve all this pain?

The answer came to mind and so many other thoughts followed along, making me giggle sadly into the sheets. Of course this is what I deserve. I destroyed all the people that I had loved the most. I don't deserve to be happy if I destroy others.

I closed my eyes, ready for a little nap. My dad should be at work already, meaning that I don't have to much work yet. I can take a break...

"Hey, Dhairya?"

"Yes, Mommy?"

"Come here, sweetie, hold this for a second..."

She handed me a knife and as all little boys do, I did what she asked me to. I took the sharp-pointed knife from her hand and I smiled at her.

"Do you love Mommy?"

I looked at her weirdly. Of course I do, she was my Mommy after all. All kids should love their Mommy right? So I giggled and told her so.

"Of course I love you, Mommy. You're so silly."

"Well, then I'm very sorry for doing this."

She fell towards the knife and something warm splattered onto face. I stared in shock at the dear woman that laid dead on my hands. I quickly dropped the knife and screamed...

I woke up with a start and breathed heavily. It had almost been a week since I had that dream, or memory, really. I killed Mommy and I broke Daddy's heart. I'm the reason he is how he is, so that just means that I have to be here for him, right? No matter what he does.

I turned around and looked at the clock. 4:33. Good, about 4 and ½ hours before my dad comes home. I can finish all the chores that I need to do in that time, and maybe have a little something to eat.

I quickly hustled around the house and just as I finished my last chore, the front door opened, revealing my dad. He staggered over to his chair, smiling. That was weird, he almost never smiles anymore. I quickly brought him a plate of food and a glass of water before turning to leave him in peace to eat his meal.

Suddenly, his hand reached out and grabbed my shirt.

"Stay. Sit."

The two words were enough to make me sit down immediately and just stare at him, wondering what I had done wrong this time. He pushed his plate of food towards me and ordered me to eat. I pick up the spoon, scooped some food and put it in my mouth, slowly eating tidbits.

To say that dinner was awkward is an understatement. My dad actually got up and went to make himself a plate of food. I had stood up to do it, but he just pushed me back down. The entire time he just smiled at me, and I returned it with a nervous grin.

Which only made him smile wider.

I was about to sign 'Is everything alright?', but realized that he had never learned sign language. He sat back down and I felt very nervous. What did he want from me? I already gave him everything, is there something else that he wants?

He opened his mouth and the words that came out shocked me...

"We're moving to California."